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Wednesday, August 31, 2005

I'm bored at work today, so I think I'll pass some time by answering Chick's 56 questions...

UNIQUE

1. Nervous habits - Jingling my keys in my pocket. I have to take them out and put them on the table if I'm giving a talk.
2. Are you double jointed - No
3. Can you roll your tongue - No
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time - Sort of. I have to close the other eye first.
5. Can you blow spit bubbles - I can make one in my mouth but I can't launch it.
6. Can you cross your eyes - Yes
7. Tattoos - No. But I wouldn't be against getting one. Probably on my arm.
8. Piercing - No
9. Do you make your bed daily - I did when I was single, but my wife always sleeps later than me, so...no...not any more.

CLOTHES

10. Which shoe goes on first - Right...I think.
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? - No
12. On the average, how much money do you carry - About $50. I try to use my credit card for most things (and I always pay the full balance each month).
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7 - Just my wedding ring. Years ago I used to wear a silver chain around my neck and another on my wrist.
14. Favorite piece of clothing - Right now? A new shirt I just got from Land's End. But ask me next month and I'll give you a different answer.

FOOD

15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it - Twirl. But I cut it up for my 2-year-old son.
16. Have you ever eaten Spam - I don't think so. I would know if I had, right?
17. Do you use extra salt on your food - Once in a while.
18. How many cereals in your cabinet - Five right now. Grape Nuts, Granola, Cinnamon Frosted Shredded Wheat, Some organic cereal that tastes like Life, and Uncle Sam. But my tastes change all the time, so next month you'll see a completely different line-up.
19. What's your favorite beverage - Iced tea.
20. What's your favorite fast food restaurant - I don't really eat true fast food. But if you're willing to consider pseudo-fast food, mom & pop style, I'll tell you that I love Ben's Chili Bowl, Five Guys, and Island Burgers and Shakes.
21. Do you cook - I used to cook. A lot. My previous girlfriend's Dad taught me how. He was the best cook I've ever known. But my wife has been learning to cook recently, so I've kinda backed off a bit.

GROOMING

22. How often do you brush your teeth - At least three times a day.
23. Hair drying method - Air dry
24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair - No

MANNERS

25. Do you swear - If I'm with the right group of people. My wife thinks I don't.
26. Do you ever spit - No

FAVORITE

27. Animal - In the wild: birds, At home: dogs--except that I don't have a dog right now.
28. Food - Anything except monkey brains. And mushrooms.
29. Month - October
30. Day - Thursday...lately.
31. Cartoon - Dilbert
32. Shoe brand - Hmmm. I don't think I have a favorite brand. But I love my Chucks and my Kenneth Cole oxfords.
33. Subject in school - I liked art and computer science equally, although that probably had more to do with the teachers than anything else.
34. Color - Blue
35. Sport - Baseball--except that I will only watch it in a stadium. Never on TV. And don't bother asking me to play it. Really. Don't.
36. TV shows - I don't watch TV regularly anymore. The last show I used to watch was CSI at my friend's house on Thursdays with his awesome home-brewed beer, some crackers, and some cheese-whiz.
37. Thing to do in the spring - Sit on the banks of a brook and toss pebbles in the water with my daughter.
38. Thing to do in the summer - Swimming in the ocean
39. Thing to do in the autumn - Hiking in the mountains
40. Thing to do in the winter - Making love on a rug in front of the fireplace with the snow coming down outside. (OK, so I've never done that...but it sounds like fun. Any volunteers?)

IN AND AROUND

41. In the CD player - Devo
42. Person you talk most on the phone with - My wife, but mostly just for those "honey, could you pick up some milk on the way home?" kind of conversations. I think I need some people to talk to during my afternoon commute.
43. Reading - Chernow's Alexander Hamilton. I've been reading about a chapter a month for a year now, in between reading other books.
44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows/mirrors - Once in a while
45. What color is your bedroom - white
46. Do you use an alarm clock - No. I get up when I'm good and ready. Unless, of course, my kids wake me up first.
47. Window seat or aisle - Window for a short flight, aisle if more than a couple hours.

DUMB

48. What's your sleeping position - I like to go to sleep on my stomach, but that does all sorts of horrible things to my neck, so I try to sleep on my side instead.
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket - Yes. You have to if you're gonna sleep naked.
50. Do you snore - I don't think so.
51. Do you sleepwalk - No, but my sister and my daughter do.
52. Do you talk in your sleep - Not that I know of.
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals - No, but my wife does. So technically there is one in the bed.
54. How about with the light on - No. But moonlight is OK.
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on - No. There's no TV in the bedroom anyway.
56. Last interesting person you met - The bum on the street, downtown, at 1am, with the Jamaican accent, who swears he lives out in one of the swank suburbs and needs some money to get home because the police impounded his Mercedes. Funny thing--he has the same damn story every time I see him. He needs to mix it up a bit. But he makes for good conversation if you need to kill 15 minutes in between band sets.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Late yesterday afternoon I was in the office and should have been working, but the weekend bug had already bitten me and I couldn't bring myself to start anything new. So instead I came up with this fantasy. I do believe it's the first fantasy I've ever written that is about my wife. -KT

It is a Friday evening towards the end of the summer, and your sister, her husband, and their daughter are here for a visit. Earlier in the evening we all went out to eat, but now we're back at the house and we've just finished putting the kids to bed. Your sister announces that she and her husband are tired and are gonna head off to bed soon, and you're in the study catching up on your email for the week, so I decide that maybe this would be a good time to head out to the pool for a quick swim.

"I'll see ya later, honey...I'm gonna run out to the pool for a bit," I say, popping my head in through the doorway of the study.

"Oh, OK. Have a good time. How long are you gonna be?" you ask.

"They close at 10, so I should be back by 10:15 or so. Wanna join me? It's not every day that we've got someone staying with us who can watch the kids. And they're asleep anyway."

"Um...Well...That is a good point," you say, "But I've got a lot to do here."

"But we won't be gone long. Remember, they close at 10," I say. "Come on. You're coming. Grab your bathing suit and a towel." I walk over to you and grab your hand and start tugging. "Come on, come on. No excuses. You know you'll enjoy the workout. And the pool won't be very crowded this time of night, especially on a Friday."

"Hmmm. Oh, alright. I guess. Let me go tell my sister."

You tell your sister where we'll be, grab your bathing suit and a towel, and put on your flip-flops. Ten minutes later we're standing at the edge of the pool, having changed and stored our stuff on one of the poolside lounge chairs. I slip in to the pool at the end, but as usual, you decide to walk over to the stairs and go in slowly, one inch at a time, starting with your big toe.

"It's cold!" you call out, pulling your toe back out of the water.

"Don't listen to your toe," I say, "You have to jump in all at once."

But no, you insist on continuing the slow, sacrificial ritual of inching yourself in bit by bit. Chuckling to myself, I decide I can't wait for this to play out, so I pick a lane and begin to swim. The pool looks totally different at night than by day. The pool itself is lit underwater, but there are very few lights outside of the pool, so the few people out on the deck are mostly in shadows, lit up by the indirect glow of the pool from the underwater lamps. The ripples on the surface make it hard to clearly discern whatever is underwater, but with goggles on everything under the surface is crystal clear. And with my face underwater I can see easily from one end of the pool to the other. There are only five other people in the pool. Three people swimming laps, and one older couple standing in the shallow water near one of the corners, talking to each other.

Eventually, though, I begin to tune everything out as I swim, watching only the black line on the floor of the pool as I make my way back and forth with each lap. Swimming can mesmerize you, especially at night when there is nothing to see up above. And before long, I am lost in my thoughts, only vaguely conscious of the sound and sight of my hands and arms as they draw bubbles into the water and propel me forward with each subsequent stroke.

Until, suddenly something catches my eye and I look over to my right. It's you. You've finally made it into the pool, and looking at your body in your swimsuit underwater I realize how perfect you look. Your slender figure and your small, but perfectly-shaped curves draw me in like the firm, young bodies of the teenage girls who are here in the daytime. But unlike them, you are mine, and that makes all the difference. I feel a tingling sensation between my legs that begins to radiate out to the rest of my body. I dispense with my laps and quietly make my way over to you, keeping my face underwater, enchanted by the beauty of your form.

Only when I get within a foot or two of you do I lift my head up out of the water, and, smiling at you I slip my hands around your waist and pull you close.

"You finally made it in," I say, "Still cold?"

"Mmmm, " you murmur, as our wet bodies press together, "I was, but this is much better." And you reach up and clasp your hands around the back of my neck. Your head is still dry, and I touch the tip of my wet nose to yours, and you giggle as a little stream of water trickles off of me and onto your face. I lean in and give you a little kiss on the lips--wet again--and you giggle some more. And then, as I slide my leg in between yours and pull you even tighter against me, you can plainly feel my arousal against your tummy. "Hey silly," you chide, "I need to get some swimming in before they close, you know."

"Hmmm. I suppose so," I grumble good-naturedly. I release my hold on you but keep my hands where they are, letting them slide across your body as you pull away with a smile.

For the next twenty minutes or so we swim laps in adjacent lanes, but this time I don't really lose myself in the swimming, because your sweet body is just too distracting. And so I make my way back and forth, glancing to the side, underwater, each time we pass each other--getting a workout, to be sure, but in a mild state of arousal the whole time, nonetheless.

Eventually, we stop to take a breather, and, checking my watch, I notice that it's five minutes to 10, and the pool will be closing soon. So once again I slide over to you, this time pressing you back against the wall of the pool with your arms out at your sides and my hands pinning your wrists to the concrete lip at the water's edge. You've been swimming hard, and I can see your chest rising and falling as you catch your breath. I lean down and place my lips firmly on yours, kissing you softly at first and then harder. You kiss me back for a few moments but then twist your head to the side and gasp for a little more air as you are still catching your breath from your workout. Eventually, though, you turn your head back towards me and we continue our kiss. Pulling your hands free from my grasp, you reach up and put them around my neck again, and I reach down under the water and place my hands on your hips.

As we continue to kiss, my hands begin to wander a bit, knowing that no one can really see what's going on under the water--except the two remaining people who are still in the pool doing laps, but I don't think they're really looking anyway. I slide my hands around behind you and squeeze your butt for a moment or two and then slide them up to your sides and eventually up higher until they are cupping your firm little breasts just below the surface of the water. Our kisses are getting deeper now as our tongues tease each other. And your breathing, which had been slowing down, now begins to speed up again. And then, with my left hand still lovingly caressing your right breast, I slowly slide my right hand downward, making circles on your tummy. And then lower. Lower. Until I'm pressing it lightly against the very top of your pubic mound and I can hear you gasp a little, and I can feel you spreading your legs ever so slightly.

But just then the lifegaurd startles us by calling out, "We're closing up for the night," from his perch up on the lifegaurd chair, and we pull slightly away from each other--realizing that we will have to continue this somewhere else.

To be continued...

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

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Playing around a little with some image-altering effects for today's Half-Nekkid Thursday...This is me lying in bed in the morning. Morning is often the most arousing time of the day for me, especially if I wake up before anyone else and I can just lie there, gently stroking my morning wood, peacefully drifting in and out of sleep, thinking erotic thoughts about a sweet girl. Sometimes I feel like I could stay that way for hours. But eventually, inevitably, the rest of the world interrupts and reminds me that I have responsibilities and obligations. Silly world.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

There has been a whole slew of new pseudo-fast-food Mexican chain restaurants that have opened up around here in the last few years.  First there was Baja Fresh.  Then Chipotle.  Then Moe's.  All these restaurants seem to be cashing in on a similar theme: you order at the counter and they make your burrito or taco or whatever from fresh ingredients while you wait (and yes, somehow that IS different from Taco Bell).  But they each have their own uniquely-identifying traits too.  And now, in just the past week, yet another clone has opened up across the street from where I work.  It's called Tijuana Flats.  So a group of us guys at work all decided to go check it out the other day and see if we could figure out the difference that supposedly sets it apart from the others.
 
So after we got our food and were sitting around the table eating, someone piped up with this piece of wisdom, "I know what makes this place unique.  They must be paying twice the hourly wage to their employees compared to the other places."
 
And I'm thinking he's right.  Because what he was subtly referring to was that every single employee in the place was an incredibly-beautiful young woman--to the point where you would swear they must have contracted with a modelling agency to staff the place.  Honestly, I have no recollection of what I ate when I was there, but I can tell you everything you ever wanted to know (and then some, I'm sure) about the sweet smile, perfect breasts, cute belly-button, and fine tight ass on the little hottie who kept coming over to our table to refill my drink.  And they were all that way.  Every last one of them.
 
So if that's their tactic, I think it's working.  Because we all agreed that we'll be going to Tijuana Flats a lot from now on.
 
Now if only I could remember what I ate.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Have you ever done it in the back seat of a minivan? Well I have. But I can only say that because of this past Friday.

I got home from work and the babysitter was already there and my wife was making dinner for the kids. I finished making dinner while my wife took a quick shower and got dressed, and then we left and headed out to a nice romantic restaurant with a beautiful view of the lake.

She looked so pretty at dinner that I leaned across the table and kissed her, making her smile that sweet smile that I've always loved. And then after dinner as we were walking down the sidewalk I took her in my arms and kissed her again. As we were kissing we heard a group of people coming down the sidewalk and she began to pull away. But I pulled her closer and continued to kiss her passionately as the group of people walked around us and disappeared down the sidewalk.

Eventually we made our way back to the minivan and started driving home. But as we got to our neighborhood she said we were still a bit early, the babysitter wouldn't be expecting us yet, and maybe we should just park for a bit and continue where we had left off back there on the sidewalk.

To make a long story short, before long we were in the back seat together, her tank top and bra were somewhere else and she was cumming with my hand between her legs and my mouth sucking on her right nipple.

I was against buying the minivan. I'm a big fan of cool cars. And cool the minivan is not. But now I'm thinking maybe it's not quite so bad after all. You just have to be creative about the way you use it.

Friday, August 19, 2005

[Update: She just called to say she's lined up a babysitter for tonight and we're going out on a date.  I hope this means what I think it means...]

I have not had any kind of sexual activity for two weeks now, and my wife is taking the kids out of town for a few days starting tomorrow.  In other words, she is leaving her frustrated, sexually-starved husband home alone and free to roam the city on a Saturday night.  Does that sound like a good plan?  Hell yes, it does!   OK, so I'm kidding.  Sort of.  But still, let me tell you, if no lovemaking happens tonight I am going to be so fired up for a woman's touch that I can't guarantee what will happen.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

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Returning to work after picking up a nice cold iced tea at Starbucks the other afternoon I decided it was just a bit too nice outside to go right back into the office, so I parked the car under a tree, rolled down all the windows, put on some good music, kicked my shoes off, and spent a few relaxing minutes sipping my tea and enjoying the soft late-summer breeze. And then I thought, hmmm...not a bad idea for Half-Nekkid Thursday.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

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So I've been doing a lot more swimming lately because it's just been too damn hot to bike to work every day and, wow, I gotta say that swimming has some great benefits in addition to the obvious full-body workout that you get. Specifically, hot young lifegaurds in their little Speedo "lifegaurd" two piece bathing suits. Not to mention the plethora of other pool-going cuties. Last night I shared a lap lane with a little honey in a bikini, and all I can say is thank God for swimming goggles. I've discovered that there's a lot more to see underwater than the lane line that's painted on the floor of the pool.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Generally, if I see a girl I like, my first step is to try and make eye contact with her. If that works, I will smile at her. And if she smiles back, I'll say hi. And if she says hi back, I know the hard part is behind me and I can proceed to chat and flirt with her. But girls can be so shy sometimes--to the point where just getting past the smiling stage can be agonizingly difficult. A good example happened this past weekend at the grocery store.

I was in the produce section when I happened to notice a very pretty girl, probably in her twenties, who was very much dressed for the hot summer day that it was. Not slutty--just extremely alluring. She was with an older lady who I'm guessing was probably her mom. It was very hard to keep my eyes off of the younger one, given her obvious natural beauty combined with her warm-weather shortage of clothing, but I did my very best to be subtle. During the course of making my way through the store, up and down the aisles, I passed her several times, glancing briefly at her each time, and each time she would look back at me for just a split second with the faintest hint of a little smile--but no more--never allowing me to get to the point where I felt I could drop a quick "hi" in her direction.

So by the time I got to the checkout I had pretty much given up on her when, wouldn't you know it, she and her mom pulled up behind me with their cart. Coincidence? I wonder. But alas, she still could not bring herself to look directly at me (although she seemed very interested in my two-year-old son who was shamelessly smiling and making all kinds of eyes at her).

So then finally, I was out in the parking lot getting my son strapped into his car seat and loading the groceries into the back when I noticed the two of them again. This time they were in their car and were pulling out of the parking lot. But then they stopped, backed up, and pulled over next to me. The mom, who was driving, rolled down her window and told me how much she loved my car (it's an antique) and how she and her husband had had the same car years ago when their daughter was just a baby. And all of a sudden, as if some spell had been broken, her daughter was all smiles at me, craning to see around her mother, looking me right in the eye, telling me how much she loved my car too, asking the year, make, and model, and generally being all kinds of flirty and friendly.

But of course at that point it was a little too late. There's no way I'm gonna do any serious flirting with a girl through the driver's window of a car while her mom sits in between us in the driver's seat with the engine idling.

Oh well. At least she provided me with some nice fantasy material when I got home.

Thursday, August 11, 2005


I just got back from a kick-ass New York Dolls show at the 9:30 Club and realized two things. 1) My wife was not gonna let me into the bed until I took a nice warm soapy shower, and 2) It's Half-Nekkid Thursday already and I don't have a pic. So I decided to kill two birds with one stone. Pretty efficient of me, huh?
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Friday, August 05, 2005

Ever heard of a Make-Out Party?

The premise seems simple. You show up, you meet people, you make out.

And as if that alone isn't reason enough to go, they also have five bands playing throughout the night, all for a cover charge of only $6 ($4 if you bring a mix CD for the CD swap that they're having at some point during the night).

Word on the street is that it's a pretty even mix of 20/30-something guys and girls.

So what are you doing on Saturday night?

Thursday, August 04, 2005


For today's Half-Nekkid Thursday you get a picture of me that I took early yesterday morning in the dingy, 30-year-old changing room of one of the neighborhood pools right before I had a wonderfully-invigorating swim. It's nice going to the pool before work because I have the pool almost all to myself. There was one pretty young thing who showed up just as I was leaving and went straight for the hot tub. I would have joined her for a few minutes, but I was already pressed for time as it was. Maybe next time. Funny thing...I only just now realized that the yellow stripe on the back of my swimsuit is a Nike swoosh.
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Wednesday, August 03, 2005

There's this bisexual guy friend of mine that I hang out with once in a while--usually in a group, but once in a while it's just him and me.  He gets a kick out of trying to find girls for me to hook up with, and this past weekend he went to a concert with me and he told me he would not let me leave the place until I went up and said hi to this one cutie.
 
But sometimes he'll get in this mood where he's trying to hit on me, as you can see from this email exchange:
 
bisexual guy: You were so fucking hot at that concert on Friday
 
me: Dude, we really need to get you a guy so you'll be able to take your mind off me.
 
bisexual guy:  Please, Please dont let me scare you off.  I am totally ok with never being able to please you, but, I love telling you how hot you are because its just the plain truth.  I honestly think that you are one of the hottest guys Ive EVER met in my life.  Its kind of hard not to think of you that way.  You can take it two ways..get mad and stop talking to me or just take it as a compliment. I hope you allow me to compliment and allow me to flatter you.  A guy can always dream right?   I was so fucking hard when you would adjust yourself in the car the other night.  It must be nice being you  :)
 
...and I'm thinking...do I really need this kind of flattery?

Monday, August 01, 2005

For the first time I actually met a fellow blogger this past weekend.  Kayten was in town on a business trip, and at first we thought our schedules were not going to match up, but then late in the afternoon on Friday she sent me an email and I ended up stopping briefly at her hotel on my way to a concert.  We met in the hotel bar and chatted for a while.  It was nice to finally put a face to all those posts on her site, as well as to put those sexy HNT pics together into a complete girl.  Unfortunately, after not much more than 30 minutes together I had to hustle out of there to go pick up a friend who was waiting for me so we could head over to the concert.  So it was short, but sweet, and Kayten even expensed my drink to her company (a business expense?).  Anyway, thanks Kayten.  It was fun.

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