logo by chick

I so love to eat pussy. I could do it all day long. Seriously. And I've been told, by girls other than my wife, that I'm very good at it, which is nice to know. I had a dream once where I fell asleep with my face in some girl's pussy. I've awakened girls in the morning with it. I even ate a girl's pussy for breakfast once while she lay on her back on my parent's kitchen table (my parents weren't around, obviously).

I don't know where I'm going with this train of thought--just been thinking about pussies a lot today...

...although that's nothing new.

We went out to dinner last night and my wife wore her tiny little black tank dress. The velvety one that she hasn't worn in at least two years. She looked fantastic, and I told her so. I got an erection just watching her get dressed. At first she put it on without a bra and I thought I was gonna come right there in the bedroom. But then as she was bending over to get a necklace out of her dresser she glanced up and looked in the mirror. You could see most of her breasts and in between down to her waist. Sadly, she decided that she didn't want half the restaurant getting that same view in the event that she had to bend over for something during dinner, so off came the dress, on went the bra, and then back on went the dress. Oh well. At least it was a black bra. The dress is so short and she is so not used to wearing it that I got a nice peek of the crotch of her bikini underwear when she was getting out of the car.

Afterwards, back at home, she was really fired up and couldn't wait to get up to the bedroom. Before I knew it I had her lying on the bed, writhing around in that little dress while I kissed and munched on her pussy through her underwear. She normally doesn't like to get eaten but she was loving it with her underwear on, so I didn't argue. After pulling her bikinis off I continued to kiss a little around the top of her slit, but then, not wanting to ruin the mood, I chickened out and moved up to her tummy, nipples, shoulders, and neck, sliding the dress off over her head.

I'm not sure what she was on last night, but if I can get her in that mood again I may very well try to go all the way for a sweet taste of her clit. If she's got her wits about her she won't let me do it, but I'm thinking if she's spun up enough she might just give in and let me feast.

What is up with these high-school girls who wait out at intersections in their string bikinis holding up "car wash" signs? Talk about an accident waiting to happen. Somehow traffic lights, other cars, pedestrians, etc. become quite insignificant when there are three young, mostly naked girls jumping and jiggling around on the median. And then what a deal--for five bucks you get to watch a whole team of these little sprites get all wet and soapy while they run around your car, stretching and bending over. I think I'm gonna go back and get my wife's car washed too. Won't my wife be happy when she sees that I've gone and gotten her car washed for her? What a beautiful morning!

I just had a thought. What if I could get the hottie next door (two doors down, actually) to babysit our kids? That would be a major coup. I heard from another neighbor that she used to babysit when she was a teenager, and apparently she was pretty good. We really need more babysitters big-time, and it couldn't hurt to have more eye candy around the house. Hmmm....

The girl next door is so fucking hot. Actually she's not next door, she's two doors down. And it isn't really her house, it's her parents house, the house she grew up in. But she still stops by from time to time, and if I'm outside I usually like to sneak a peek at her as she walks from her car up to the house. I think she's 23 or 24. When we moved here she was just 17. I suppose she was cute back then, but to be honest I don't really remember. I didn't pay much attention to her back then. Eventually she went away to college, then came back, got a job (or grad school, I'm not sure), and a place of her own. And during those years she blossomed into an amazingly beautiful young woman. Unfortunately she never seems to acknowledge my presence or even glance in my direction. To her I guess I'm just another 30-something suburban dad out mowing the lawn or working on the car. Or maybe she's seen me look at her one too many times and she thinks I'm a dirty old man. Although I try to be discrete. For all I know, she could be Vortexia. Ha! Wouldn't that be funny... But I don't think Vortexia lives around here.

Bummer. Josie and Contradictruth are gone. Sorry to see you go, girls...

I think Britney Spears needs to face the fact that her career is over. It's time for her to leverage her one asset, her body, and go out with a bang by releasing the mother of all sex tapes. The world has waited long enough. She was cute when she was sixteen, bouncing around on stage and showing way too much skin. But now that she's in her twenties she's just another washed-up former teen-starlet. What she needs to do now is hire a film crew, Osbournes-style, to come into her house and film her. But only when she's naked and/or having sex. No one wants to hear her talk. We want to see a close-up of her pussy getting wet while her man teases and caresses her. We want to see her naked on her back, pinned down by her elbows, getting slammed hard and screaming in a disturbing combination of pain and pleasure. No more nip-slips. We want to see real shots of her breasts, jiggling with the shock of her body getting pounded from behind, doggy-style. We want to see her kneeling in front of her man, sucking his cock while he holds her hair tight in his fist. We want to see her sitting up, riding him as her waxed, wet pussy slides up and down on his hard shaft. We're tired of her belly-button. We want to see her naked in the Bahamas or Cancun, smiling and walking along the beach, comfortable in showing her areolas, pussy slit, and ass for everyone to admire. We want to see her pussy getting eaten on the deck of a yacht as her man's tongue glides in and around the smooth folds of her labia. She could shock the world by releasing the whole thing as a pay-per-view, and she'd probably unseat Howard Stern from the throne of best-selling pay-per-view of all time. At least no one would forget her the way they've forgotten Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.

Our anniversary is coming up in a couple weeks so I stopped at the card store after work to look for a card. I found a really nice one. Cute and Fun. It said all sorts of nice romantic things about her that are really true. But then I got to the last line:

You're everything I ever hoped for in a wife

Aw, crap.

Now what the hell am I supposed to do with a line like that? It's not like I can just cross it out. But I can't lie to her either. She's a great, fun girl and I love her a whole lot, but let's be realistic. Why do they have to go ahead and ruin a nice card with a line like that.

I had to put it back.

On vacation our hotel room was on the second floor, directly overlooking the swimming pool, and I can assure you I spent many a minute gazing out at all the cute honeys who were basking in the sun. On our last day this one particularly beautiful girl was splayed out right below my window and I just could not take my eyes off her. She was wearing a little maroon two piece suit and looked so good that I just stood there for a while, mesmerized. She was so close that the thought occurred to me that if the window wasn't sealed shut I could probably shoot a load of cum from my dick, out the window, and down onto her bare stomach. I'm such a pervert. I decided I had to snap some pictures of her. But with my wife right there in the room it would have been hard to explain exactly what I was taking a picture of. Aside from the girls in their bathing suits the view out the window wasn't much to look at. So I had to wait until my wife went into the bathroom. I waited. And waited. And waited some more. Finally when my wife got up to pee I ran for the digital camera. But wouldn't you know it, just as I grabbed the camera the sun went behind a cloud. When I got back to the window I was just in time to see the girl slip on a pair of sweatpants. Doh! But at least her chest was still covered only by the little maroon top. I zoomed in and snapped one good pic. And then she reached for a t-shirt and slipped it on over her head. I wish I had gotten more, but thankfully the one pic came out remarkably well. Since the vacation has been over I've already, uh, used it, several times.

OK, I'm pretty sure this is gross: there is pubic hair caught in my computer keyboard. And it's mine. If it was my wife's I would be intrigued. But no, it's mine. Now she's gonna know I've been beating off to internet porn. Maybe I should buy a new keyboard.

My latest crush is on a redhead. I love all girls, but redheads hold a special place in my loins. I went out to a pool hall tonight with some guy friends. Pool is not my big thing. I suck at it. But if there's beer and eye candy I'll tolerate pretty much anything. And the eye candy at this particular place was our waitress. A little black t-shirt, a denim mini-skirt, white sneakers, and, you guessed it, red hair. Down to her shoulder blades. I was in trouble the moment I walked in the door. Just to make sure, I asked her, "You're a natural redhead, right?" She said yes, but she also said she had lightened it a little. I'm not sure why you would fuck with natural red hair, but regardless it looked sweet, and I told her so. I got her phone number. I know, that's bad. I'm married. I'm not going to call her. But I sure as hell am going to whack off tonight. I've never actually fucked a redhead before. It has always been a fantasy of mine. A red-haired pussy. I'm driving myself crazy just thinking about it. I'm naked. I'm in front of the computer. It's after midnight. Hell, I might as well just go for it right now... Mmmmmmm...