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Girls are so lucky. There's always some guy, just an average joe, who is willing to jack off on his webcam for you to watch. These guys even schedule this stuff ahead of time. What do I need to do to find a girl sawing away at her snatch and really enjoying it? I'm not talking about porn stars or girls who are getting paid to have someone film them. I'm talking about real girls who are really having orgasms by themselves at their computers. That would be so hot. Average girl-next-door types turn me on so much when they get frisky. If any girl wants to film herself and send me a clip I will be forever grateful (and sore, come to think of it).

Happy Turkey Day everyone! I hope you all have lots of yummy food and lots of yummy sex.

Today while I was out for a drive I saw an incredibly hot girl jogging along the sidewalk. She had on a small exercise top and short, tight running shorts. Everything about her looked great. Long blonde hair flying around, firm breasts, flat, bare stomach, long, slender, well-toned legs, and a killer little ass. But what really struck me was that behind her was a baby in a jogging stroller which, in turn, was being pushed by a good-looking young man. A family, in other words. Oh, to be that man! Not only does he get his exercise, but he gets to do it while watching that gorgeous, scantily-clad female body bouncing around in front of him. AND, it counts as family time which surely earns him all kinds of brownie points for later on in the evening. I wish that could be that dude! But alas, my wife, as hot as she may be, has asthma and cannot run. We do go out for walks as a family from time to time, but it's just not the same. Maybe I need a female running partner. Anyone up for it?

I buy all my wife's clothing, including underwear. Mostly it's because she doesn't have a clue about what looks good on her. I know what looks good on her, and since I'm the one who buys her clothes I've also developed a pretty good sense of what's currently fashionable and what's not. Her friends are always complimenting her on her clothes, and that makes me feel like I'm doing a pretty good job.

But when it comes to my own clothes, I am hopelessly lost. I wear the same old crap year after year without much thought as to what looks good and what looks lame. Plus, I'm starting to realize that many of the styles have changed, and I'm still stuck in the early 90s, or even worse, the 80s.

So I'm thinking maybe some of you girls can help me out. Ideally, you could go with me to pick out a whole new wardrobe, but since that's not likely to happen maybe you could just tell me what looks hot to you on a guy. I'm talking everything. Shoes, pants, shirts, underwear, jackets, you name it. Give me brand names too, if you can. Dress me up, make me into your dream hunk, and get me laid for pete's sake.

Oh, and I'm sure you'll all have differing opinions, and that's great too. After all, I do need more than one outfit.

OK? What do you say?

Burbman's post about homosexuality reminded me of something I would have posted last week if I had been posting.

It never fails. When I go out to a club downtown I almost always get hit on. Sometimes multiple times a night. By GUYS.

I am SO not gay.

But if I was... what a fantastic sex life I could be having.

If only straight girls were as bold as some of these gay guys who keep coming up to me.

Apparently there is something about a 34-year-old guy who is taking his 3-year-old daughter out to lunch that seems to draw huge throngs of young women. My daughter and I practice this ritual every few weeks, and I never cease to be amazed at the effect it has. Picture, if you will, me, a tall good-looking guy in black leather boots, jeans, a white t-shirt, and a black leather motorcycle jacket, walking into one of those Texas-style roadhouse steak joints holding hands with a little blond girl about three feet tall decked out totally in pink. The scene is almost so cute it makes you sick. And as we walk in through the door, every waitress in the place seems to all-of-a-sudden decide that she needs to be the hostess for a minute or two. Instantly we are surrounded by a mob of beautiful young women, all of whom are smiling at me from ear to ear and saying all sorts of semi-irritating things to my daughter like, "How old are you sweetie?" or "Is this your Daddy?" Fortunately, it doesn't really bother me because I'm too busy checking out their thongs and tight butts as they bend over to say hi to my daughter. And this VIP treatment doesn't stop even after three or four of the "hostesses" have shown us to our table and passed out the requisite crayons and menus. Indeed, all throughout the meal young women are constantly walking past our table, smiling and/or winking at me and waving at my daughter. I'm sure this treatment only serves to solidify my daughter's misbegotten belief that she is in fact the next Disney princess.

Thanks to a brief chat with Kinky yesterday, I have decided to keep posting to Koochie Taster, albeit on a reduced schedule. My new goal is to post once a week. That shouldn't be too hard. And if I can do more, I will.

You didn't really think I could stay away, did you?

I've been enjoying my newfound freedom the last few weeks. Not having to blog has given me more free time to do other things.

But at the same time I miss having a place where I can jot down my thoughts.

So... I'm thinking of starting a new blog. A different blog. One that is more of a day-log. Less overtly sexual in the sense that it would contain a wider variety of subjects. Whatever comes to my mind. My kids. My job. My car. My lunch. The girl at work that I have a crush on. And yes, of course, my penis.