logo by chick

I've never met her, but I think about her a lot. I've never heard her voice, but the lovely words she writes to me always add a few extra rays of sunshine to my day. When I sense that she feels down, I feel sad. And when she tells me that something nice happened to her, I feel elated. I love the way her mind works, the way she thinks, the things that are important to her. And in my dreams the beautiful way she kisses me and the electrifying touch of her body against mine make me melt. And I imagine what it would be like if things were different. If we lived close enough to meet in person. If she were mine and not someone else's. If I could have her in my arms right now. And I like listening to the music she has sent me because, somehow, listening to something that I know she loves makes me feel like she's not quite so far away. And I wonder if the people around me notice how often I listen to that same music.

For today's Half-Nekkid Thursday I took a picture of my hand. To the left of the pic you can see a scar that runs about a third of the way across my wrist. It's from an operation I had about five years ago. After the operation my hand was in a cast for four weeks, and wouldn't you know it, those four weeks happened to be right in the middle of the time we had planned to try and have a baby. Ever tried to have sex with a cast on your hand? It's not easy. Especially when you can't put any weight on it, and you're supposed to keep it elevated, and your wife doesn't like being on top. So we had to come up with all sorts of creative ways to make love, most of which involved me standing and my wife propped up in some fashion so her pussy was lined up with my cock. Frankly, it was a lot of fun. At least, that's how I remember it. My wife seems to recall some less-than-flattering contortions on her part with her face buried in the bed and her ass in the air, but we both agree there were some funny moments. To this day we joke about it, wondering if we'll ever tell our daughter some of the goofy things we had to try to get her conceived.

[You can click on the pic for a closeup.] 

The temperature just hit 100 degrees.  What is this?  Phoenix, Arizona?  Actually, no, it's not Phoenix because it's also miserably humid with a heat index of something like 115.  Anyway, as I was walking through the lobby of the building around noon today, I saw the little cutie that I've had my eyes on for months now.  And she was wearing a long winter coat.  She does that a lot.  Apparently she has trouble staying warm in the AC.  I suppose I would too if I weighed all of 100lbs.  But then she said she'd be taking the coat off as soon as she got outside.  Which, sure enough, she did, as we stepped through the door and out to the sweltering heat of the parking lot.  And I was treated to a fantastic, mesmerizing view of her little body in a tight, pink, baby-doll shirt.  But as we walked out to where the cars were it occurred to me that I hadn't intended to come out to the parking lot at all.  In fact, I had been heading to the lunchroom where my coworker was waiting for me.  How I ended up in the parking lot is beyond me.  Something must have distracted me.

The year of cunnilingus is more than half over and so far I haven't gotten squat. I was reminded of it by this girl with whom I seem to have a lot in common. Those of you who've read me for a while will recall that my wife is weirded out by the idea of me putting my mouth down there. However, some very recent conversations I've had with her (including last night) have led me to believe that it might not be totally out of the question. And in fact, last night she actually let me kiss her down there, which is a marked improvement over...nothing. So we'll see. I've got less than six months.

Is it Half-Nekkid Thursday already? I'm sneaking in just under the wire today. I've been unusually disorganized this week, probably on account of being sick. And being sick also meant that I haven't been riding my bike to work. Which, in turn, meant that I had not been able to try out the brand new Pearl Izumi bike shorts I bought last week. But today I felt better and decided to celebrate by riding to work AND wearing the new shorts. They were not cheap, mind you, but they claim to be made of "superior moisture-transfer fabrics" with "extra padding in key areas" and specially-designed seams to "eliminate potential chafing." Sounds good to me. And during my 30 mile round-trip today I can tell you that I was quite comfortable. In fact, I made the trip in record time--a feat I'm going to credit to the shorts (why not, right? For the price they darn well ought to get me to work quicker and in comfortable bliss). The only thing that bugged me about these new shorts is that they are extremely slippery such that my ass kept threatening to slide right off the seat as if it was, uh, lubed up...or something. Eventually, I got the hang of it, though, and then all was good.

So Chick, how about we go bike-riding together? I'll wear my new shorts and you can wear your new sports bra. After all, you might need someone around to help you take it off after the ride, right?

Hmmm. So it seems I've been coerced into participating in Half-Nekkid Thursday. There's no real story here other than a belated patriotic post for the 4th of July and a very late entry into Pink's boxers collection. Oh, and if you're curious what that little bottle with the blue cap is used for, you can find out here. 

Thirty-one comments to my previous post. Good Lord, is that a record?

I think an affair, if done right, could be very good for me and my marriage.

My wife is simply not a very sexual person. After 11 years with her, countless conversations, professional therapy, etc., I think I know her well enough to know that she just doesn't enjoy the kind of wild, frequent sex that I would like to have. She does not masturbate. It just doesn't interest her. She loves to be cuddled and kissed tenderly, and once in a while, maybe one or two times a month, she likes me to massage her pussy to orgasm.

Other than that, sex is something that we do only because I request it. If it was totally up to her, she would be the happiest woman in the world simply knowing that I will always be there for her, that I will be a good father to our kids, that I will give her a hug when she's feeling down, and that I will hold her in my arms for a while in bed at night.

For years this has made me angry. I often resent her for ruining my sex life. And that resentment has taken a constant toll on our marriage. I try to change her. I look at her lying there peacefully in bed and I get angry because I want to fuck her deep inside, lick and kiss her all over her body, and cum in her face. Maybe someday her hormones will change and she'll start to like that stuff, but I can't make it happen, nor can I depend on it happening anytime soon, if ever.

And so lately I've been thinking that a passionate affair with another girl who has the same issues with her husband that I have with my wife would actually be a good thing for my marriage. I would no longer feel angry that my wife won't do those things. I would no longer feel like life is passing me by and it's my wife's fault. I would stop feeling like I have to change her in order for me to be happy. I could hold her and kiss her and love her and be there for her in the way she needs and wants without constantly pressuring her to do stuff that she doesn't want to do.

I could see myself truly loving my wife if the pressure for sex was no longer an issue.

I know some of you totally disagree with this. And that's OK. You're entitled to your opinions, and I'm sure you'll let me know it. Many of you think I should ask for a separation or an open marriage. But I know her and I know that both of those things would destroy her. Many of you also feel that I should continue to talk with her and work with her in an effort to improve our sex lives. But after all these years I think I know her better than anyone and I know that, no matter what kind of incremental changes we might be able to make, she will never be able to truly satisfy me in bed. Some of you feel I should just suck it up and deal with the lack of sex as something that goes along with the "for better or worse" part of our marriage vows.

Many of you have told me that if I have an affair my kids will know something is wrong and they will grow up psychologically damaged. I disagree, though. I think I could show a lot more true love for my wife and that our home would actually be a happier place if I could separate the stress of not having sex from the otherwise good things in our marriage. I would love to be able to look at my wife tenderly and lovingly and know that we are both happy because we are both getting what we need out of our lives, even if we're not getting all of it from each other.

It's a lot to expect that one person could possibly provide everything you need in life. And I think that, perhaps, the institution of marriage places too much of an emphasis on this nearly impossible task.

At least that's what I'm thinking this morning.