Friday, August 13, 2004
I think Britney Spears needs to face the fact that her career is over. It's time for her to leverage her one asset, her body, and go out with a bang by releasing the mother of all sex tapes. The world has waited long enough. She was cute when she was sixteen, bouncing around on stage and showing way too much skin. But now that she's in her twenties she's just another washed-up former teen-starlet. What she needs to do now is hire a film crew, Osbournes-style, to come into her house and film her. But only when she's naked and/or having sex. No one wants to hear her talk. We want to see a close-up of her pussy getting wet while her man teases and caresses her. We want to see her naked on her back, pinned down by her elbows, getting slammed hard and screaming in a disturbing combination of pain and pleasure. No more nip-slips. We want to see real shots of her breasts, jiggling with the shock of her body getting pounded from behind, doggy-style. We want to see her kneeling in front of her man, sucking his cock while he holds her hair tight in his fist. We want to see her sitting up, riding him as her waxed, wet pussy slides up and down on his hard shaft. We're tired of her belly-button. We want to see her naked in the Bahamas or Cancun, smiling and walking along the beach, comfortable in showing her areolas, pussy slit, and ass for everyone to admire. We want to see her pussy getting eaten on the deck of a yacht as her man's tongue glides in and around the smooth folds of her labia. She could shock the world by releasing the whole thing as a pay-per-view, and she'd probably unseat Howard Stern from the throne of best-selling pay-per-view of all time. At least no one would forget her the way they've forgotten Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.
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