logo by chick

Several weeks ago I was downtown after seeing a concert at a local nightclub. It was about 1am or so. I was sitting on a bench on the sidewalk, eating a slice of pizza, minding my own business, and watching all the people milling about on their way to or from the various bars, clubs, and restaurants. I was planning on catching the subway home as soon as I finished my slice, but just then a group of four girls came along, and one of them noticed my pizza and asked where I had gotten it. And before long we were all engaged in conversation. That would have been pleasant enough, but it didn't stop there. Soon, three of the girls sat down next to me on the bench, and the fourth girl decided she was cold, sat down on my lap, and asked if I would warm her up. Well, far be it from me to be rude, so I put my arms around her and the five of us sat there and continued to talk. Eventually, the girl on my lap noticed my wedding ring and wanted to know what it was for, to which I explained that it was exactly what she thought it was--that I was married. She seemed to consider it for a moment, and then turned around to face me and said that she "knew all about it" and said that she had recently gotten divorced after eight years of marriage. She then asked if I'd like to go dancing. Now at this point it was getting rather late, and I had really not intended to meet anyone, let alone go dancing. But apparently when a pretty girl is sitting on your lap, asking you to dance with her, it's kind of hard to say no. So we all got up and walked about a block or so down to where there was a dance club. When we got inside, lap-girl immediately pulled me tightly against her and started dancing very slow and close. But about 30 seconds later she looked around and realized that only one of her friends had made it into the club. She said, just a sec, and pulled away from me and went over to the window where we could see that her other two friends were still outside on the sidewalk. She said she'd be right back and ran outside to find out why they hadn't come in. That left me and her other friend looking at each other awkwardly. We danced (not close) for a minute or so until she decided that she wanted to go outside too and find out what the holdup was. Now at this point, I really had to use the restroom, so I ran off, and when I got back, I realized I had completely lost the girls in the crowd. There was a huge throng outside on the sidewalk, and it was even more crowded inside. I went upstairs and looked around for a minute until it dawned on me that rather than trying to find them again, this was my chance to disappear discretely. So I pushed my way through the crowd and out onto the sidewalk. I looked around tentatively one more time but still didn't see them, and then I walked off to the subway. Curiously, when I got down to the platform, the two girls who had not come into the club were standing there waiting for the train. They recognized me and called me the pizza man and explained that they were tired and hadn't really wanted to go dancing after all. And they also said that lap-girl and the fourth girl were apparently still at the dance club in case I wanted to go back and find them. But really, I didn't. Several months ago I might have been all over lap-girl, but things have changed recently, and all I really wanted to do was go home and go to bed. So that's what I did. I rode the train with the two girls until I got to my stop and then I got up and said goodnight to them. They waved and smiled and said goodnight pizza man. And then I stepped off the train, went home, and went to bed.