logo by Monday, April 04, 2005
I was cleaning out some boxes today and came across my old college freshman directory, class of '92, complete with photos, all of which were taken, I believe, in the summer of '88. Seeing all those young faces reminded me of some of the crushes I had back then.
Lisa. By far the hottest girl on our floor. I always thought you were way out of my league, but looking back on it I wonder if maybe I was missing something. You always waved to me when you saw me on campus. You didn't seem to mind that one night when I was brushing my teeth in the girl's bathroom and you came out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel. You stopped me once in the hall and asked me if I thought you were pretty. And what was the deal with that game of footsie you were playing with me one evening in the computer lab when you were sitting across from me and neither of us was wearing shoes?
Wendy. Everyone called you a slut behind your back. But you were smart, cute, and always friendly to me. I wonder if maybe you just had a healthy appreciation for your sexuality. Once, when my friend Tom came to visit I told him to go knock on your dorm room late at night, and he didn't come back until the next morning. He said you were amazing. You wore the poor guy out! Sorry I never took you up on your offers. I think we could have had fun.
Marni. You were a very cute drunk when I met you at a party and somehow I darn near got you to take off your blouse, in the middle of the party no less, but you wised up at the last minute and buttoned it back up. I saw you the next day and you waved at me with a smile on your face and ran over to chat with me for a minute, but after that I didn't see much of you until senior year when, curiously, you started showing up at the library checkout desk whenever I was on duty, always hanging out to chat with me for no apparent reason. Coincidence?
Deanne. I don't think I ever really had a chance with you after I chased you up and down the stairwells one night in a drunken stupor. But at least you had the decency to pretend it never happened.
Karin. Arguably one of the two hottest girls in our class, you were way out of my league, but at least you were nice enough not to turn me down when I asked you out to lunch, even though you had a boyfriend. Sorry I crank-called you late at night that one time. It wasn't my fault. Honest. It was my friends who dialed the phone, playing a prank on me, because they knew I had a crush on you.
Carey. The other of the two hottest girls in our class. You liked my roommate, but I liked you. It was fun to mess with you because you would always get drunk and knock on our door late at night looking to score with my roommate. If you hadn't been so bent on your futile attempts to get into his pants, would you have noticed that I was crazy about you?
Rachel: Ah, Rachel. You were on my mind in college more than any other girl. We were close those first few weeks of college, taking long walks together around campus at night, eating meals together at the dining hall, and hanging out in each other's rooms. I truly think we could have been lovers had I not procrastinated and let you get snatched up by another guy. Two years ago when we ran into each other after all those years it seemed that there was something still there between us, longing to be explored. But I was married with a second child on the way, and you had a boyfriend with you. I know you live in the same city as me, but I hesitate to call you, not sure how to explain, or whether you would even understand.
There are others, of course, but these are the ones who immediately came to mind when I saw that old directory. The ones I met very early freshman year. I think about each one of them from time to time and wonder whether they are happy. Like me, I'm sure they would do things differently if they could wind back the clock. But what would they do differently? And more importantly, do they ever think of me?
Lisa. By far the hottest girl on our floor. I always thought you were way out of my league, but looking back on it I wonder if maybe I was missing something. You always waved to me when you saw me on campus. You didn't seem to mind that one night when I was brushing my teeth in the girl's bathroom and you came out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel. You stopped me once in the hall and asked me if I thought you were pretty. And what was the deal with that game of footsie you were playing with me one evening in the computer lab when you were sitting across from me and neither of us was wearing shoes?
Wendy. Everyone called you a slut behind your back. But you were smart, cute, and always friendly to me. I wonder if maybe you just had a healthy appreciation for your sexuality. Once, when my friend Tom came to visit I told him to go knock on your dorm room late at night, and he didn't come back until the next morning. He said you were amazing. You wore the poor guy out! Sorry I never took you up on your offers. I think we could have had fun.
Marni. You were a very cute drunk when I met you at a party and somehow I darn near got you to take off your blouse, in the middle of the party no less, but you wised up at the last minute and buttoned it back up. I saw you the next day and you waved at me with a smile on your face and ran over to chat with me for a minute, but after that I didn't see much of you until senior year when, curiously, you started showing up at the library checkout desk whenever I was on duty, always hanging out to chat with me for no apparent reason. Coincidence?
Deanne. I don't think I ever really had a chance with you after I chased you up and down the stairwells one night in a drunken stupor. But at least you had the decency to pretend it never happened.
Karin. Arguably one of the two hottest girls in our class, you were way out of my league, but at least you were nice enough not to turn me down when I asked you out to lunch, even though you had a boyfriend. Sorry I crank-called you late at night that one time. It wasn't my fault. Honest. It was my friends who dialed the phone, playing a prank on me, because they knew I had a crush on you.
Carey. The other of the two hottest girls in our class. You liked my roommate, but I liked you. It was fun to mess with you because you would always get drunk and knock on our door late at night looking to score with my roommate. If you hadn't been so bent on your futile attempts to get into his pants, would you have noticed that I was crazy about you?
Rachel: Ah, Rachel. You were on my mind in college more than any other girl. We were close those first few weeks of college, taking long walks together around campus at night, eating meals together at the dining hall, and hanging out in each other's rooms. I truly think we could have been lovers had I not procrastinated and let you get snatched up by another guy. Two years ago when we ran into each other after all those years it seemed that there was something still there between us, longing to be explored. But I was married with a second child on the way, and you had a boyfriend with you. I know you live in the same city as me, but I hesitate to call you, not sure how to explain, or whether you would even understand.
There are others, of course, but these are the ones who immediately came to mind when I saw that old directory. The ones I met very early freshman year. I think about each one of them from time to time and wonder whether they are happy. Like me, I'm sure they would do things differently if they could wind back the clock. But what would they do differently? And more importantly, do they ever think of me?
