logo by Saturday, March 26, 2005
My wife and kids were still out of town last night, and after three straight nights of staying home and watching movies (Unfaithful, I Heart Huckabees, and Garden State, all of which were very good, btw), and with the knowledge that tonight would likely be spent coloring Easter eggs with the kids, I decided I had damn well better get up off my ass and go out somewhere. I could have called the guys, but sitting in a bar drinking beer with a bunch of married men gets old really fast, so instead I decided to go to a dance club.
Actually I went to two dance clubs, but the first one (Polly Esther's) was almost totally guys (all identical-looking military guys with identical haircuts. Kinda funny, actually) so I didn't stay long. The other club was hosting the "official" Interpol after-party for the Interpol show that was happening at yet another club down the street. I would have been over at the Interpol show if the tickets hadn't sold out before I could get one (and as an aside, I'm pissed because the Audioslave show sold out almost instantly yesterday and I didn't get a ticket to that either. Fuck.)
Anyway, so I had a pretty good time and danced with a few girls, but one girl in particular was especially fun. She came up to me as I was standing by myself in the corner and said, "Hi. What are you *doing*?" I'm putting the accent on the "doing" because the way she said it was in kind of an incredulous tone as if I was kicking kittens or something. And then she asked if I'd like to dance. I said sure, and we walked over to the dance floor.
Now, I'm no John Travolta, but I do think I'm a better dancer than most guys, and it turned out that she knew how to dance too, so before long I was twirling her around and we were really getting into it. The relatively sparse crowd seemed to give us some extra space and for a little while the two of us were out there in the middle of the floor by ourselves. After the first song she leaned into me and said, "You should have been out here dancing all along instead of standing off in that corner." Then as the next song began we both started smiling and looking into each others eyes, dancing closer and closer.
I can't remember when the last time was that I felt such a connection with a total stranger. But after a while it started to occur to me that maybe I was leading her on. My wedding ring was in plain view, but some people just don't look. I thought about telling her, but I couldn't seem to think of a way to do it without making it look like I was trying to get rid of her, which I wasn't. If anything, I wanted to keep dancing with her and let things go wherever they might go. And quite frankly, I was afraid that if I told her I was married she might get upset at me for wasting her time.
So we kept dancing. Paying attention to no one but each other.
Eventually, though, my conscience got the better of me and as a song ended I attempted to make my body language look like I was tired of dancing and needed a break. She must have gotten the hint because she leaned in close to me again, looking up at me--her eyes still locked with mine as they had been almost continually for the past ten minutes, and she said, "Thank you *very* much." And as she stood there looking into my eyes, smiling up at me and not walking away, I felt like putting my arms around her waist and pulling her body against mine. Should I ask for her phone number, I wondered? No. I can't call her. A kiss, perhaps? Maybe. No. Probably not. She's waiting for something, though. Still looking at me. In the end I just smiled and simply said, "Thank *you*." Emphasis on the "you." Then, after an awkward second or two we stepped apart, still looking at each other, and then turned and went our separate ways. And by the time I got a glass of water at the bar she and her friends were gone.
So anyway, I need some advice from my readers. If this ever happens again with another girl, what should I do? I don't mean to suggest that this particular situation would have progressed beyond dancing, but you never know until you try, and I didn't try. Next time I'd like to try, but at the same time I want to be honest about my situation. Should I lift my hand up and show her my wedding ring when she first asks me to dance? That seems kind of awkward at the very least and perhaps could be interpreted as a sign that I don't want to dance, which couldn't be farther from the truth. Or do I just not bring up the subject and leave the onus on her to look for my ring and make her own decision about how far she wants to take it?
Actually I went to two dance clubs, but the first one (Polly Esther's) was almost totally guys (all identical-looking military guys with identical haircuts. Kinda funny, actually) so I didn't stay long. The other club was hosting the "official" Interpol after-party for the Interpol show that was happening at yet another club down the street. I would have been over at the Interpol show if the tickets hadn't sold out before I could get one (and as an aside, I'm pissed because the Audioslave show sold out almost instantly yesterday and I didn't get a ticket to that either. Fuck.)
Anyway, so I had a pretty good time and danced with a few girls, but one girl in particular was especially fun. She came up to me as I was standing by myself in the corner and said, "Hi. What are you *doing*?" I'm putting the accent on the "doing" because the way she said it was in kind of an incredulous tone as if I was kicking kittens or something. And then she asked if I'd like to dance. I said sure, and we walked over to the dance floor.
Now, I'm no John Travolta, but I do think I'm a better dancer than most guys, and it turned out that she knew how to dance too, so before long I was twirling her around and we were really getting into it. The relatively sparse crowd seemed to give us some extra space and for a little while the two of us were out there in the middle of the floor by ourselves. After the first song she leaned into me and said, "You should have been out here dancing all along instead of standing off in that corner." Then as the next song began we both started smiling and looking into each others eyes, dancing closer and closer.
I can't remember when the last time was that I felt such a connection with a total stranger. But after a while it started to occur to me that maybe I was leading her on. My wedding ring was in plain view, but some people just don't look. I thought about telling her, but I couldn't seem to think of a way to do it without making it look like I was trying to get rid of her, which I wasn't. If anything, I wanted to keep dancing with her and let things go wherever they might go. And quite frankly, I was afraid that if I told her I was married she might get upset at me for wasting her time.
So we kept dancing. Paying attention to no one but each other.
Eventually, though, my conscience got the better of me and as a song ended I attempted to make my body language look like I was tired of dancing and needed a break. She must have gotten the hint because she leaned in close to me again, looking up at me--her eyes still locked with mine as they had been almost continually for the past ten minutes, and she said, "Thank you *very* much." And as she stood there looking into my eyes, smiling up at me and not walking away, I felt like putting my arms around her waist and pulling her body against mine. Should I ask for her phone number, I wondered? No. I can't call her. A kiss, perhaps? Maybe. No. Probably not. She's waiting for something, though. Still looking at me. In the end I just smiled and simply said, "Thank *you*." Emphasis on the "you." Then, after an awkward second or two we stepped apart, still looking at each other, and then turned and went our separate ways. And by the time I got a glass of water at the bar she and her friends were gone.
So anyway, I need some advice from my readers. If this ever happens again with another girl, what should I do? I don't mean to suggest that this particular situation would have progressed beyond dancing, but you never know until you try, and I didn't try. Next time I'd like to try, but at the same time I want to be honest about my situation. Should I lift my hand up and show her my wedding ring when she first asks me to dance? That seems kind of awkward at the very least and perhaps could be interpreted as a sign that I don't want to dance, which couldn't be farther from the truth. Or do I just not bring up the subject and leave the onus on her to look for my ring and make her own decision about how far she wants to take it?
