logo by Friday, February 11, 2005
According to the Ladder Theory men and women differ significantly in their view of what constitutes "friends of the opposite sex" vs. "potential lovers."
On the one hand, men seem to draw very little, if any, distinction between the two categories, and most men would be more than happy to sleep with their female friends, given the chance (and in some cases, enough alcohol). The fact that they are rarely given the chance is beside the point.
Women, on the other hand, tend to draw a very strict distinction between the two categories. So much so that once a man has been placed into a woman's "friends" category, there is very little chance that she will ever sleep with him no matter how close they become. Some people refer to this situation as being stuck in the "Pal Pit" from which it is almost impossible to climb out.
If all this is true (as Harry from When Harry Met Sally would have us believe), it has some potentially interesting ramifications with regard to my own life and my relationships with girls, especially if you also throw in the old saying about how men are only as faithful as their options.
Assuming I am a typical male who is only as faithful as his options and who also conforms to the Ladder Theory (I'm not saying I am, but let's just run with it for the sake of argument), this means that any time I go out with a female friend there is the potential for sex due to the unlikely (but not impossible) chance that I have not yet been relegated to her "friends" list.
Or to put it another way, in any given relationship, even a relationship that is perceived by a married man to be a "friends only" relationship, there is always the possibility for sex if for some reason the girl decides that she wants this man to be more than just a friend.
Now of course all this assumes that I don't have enough willpower to respect my marriage vows and keep my cock in my pants. I'd like to think I have that kind of willpower, but I suppose one never really knows for sure, given the heat of the moment and whatnot. On their wedding day most men are probably thinking that they have the willpower, but as time goes on that feeling clearly diminishes given the fact that something like two-thirds of all married people have had extra-marital affairs.
This also assumes that one can give some reasonable credence to the Ladder Theory.
But if all this is true it would certainly explain why I enjoy going out with female friends more than male friends. That slight chance that we could end up in bed adds a bit of "danger" and excitement to the date, even if it's not really my goal.
On the one hand, men seem to draw very little, if any, distinction between the two categories, and most men would be more than happy to sleep with their female friends, given the chance (and in some cases, enough alcohol). The fact that they are rarely given the chance is beside the point.
Women, on the other hand, tend to draw a very strict distinction between the two categories. So much so that once a man has been placed into a woman's "friends" category, there is very little chance that she will ever sleep with him no matter how close they become. Some people refer to this situation as being stuck in the "Pal Pit" from which it is almost impossible to climb out.
If all this is true (as Harry from When Harry Met Sally would have us believe), it has some potentially interesting ramifications with regard to my own life and my relationships with girls, especially if you also throw in the old saying about how men are only as faithful as their options.
Assuming I am a typical male who is only as faithful as his options and who also conforms to the Ladder Theory (I'm not saying I am, but let's just run with it for the sake of argument), this means that any time I go out with a female friend there is the potential for sex due to the unlikely (but not impossible) chance that I have not yet been relegated to her "friends" list.
Or to put it another way, in any given relationship, even a relationship that is perceived by a married man to be a "friends only" relationship, there is always the possibility for sex if for some reason the girl decides that she wants this man to be more than just a friend.
Now of course all this assumes that I don't have enough willpower to respect my marriage vows and keep my cock in my pants. I'd like to think I have that kind of willpower, but I suppose one never really knows for sure, given the heat of the moment and whatnot. On their wedding day most men are probably thinking that they have the willpower, but as time goes on that feeling clearly diminishes given the fact that something like two-thirds of all married people have had extra-marital affairs.
This also assumes that one can give some reasonable credence to the Ladder Theory.
But if all this is true it would certainly explain why I enjoy going out with female friends more than male friends. That slight chance that we could end up in bed adds a bit of "danger" and excitement to the date, even if it's not really my goal.
