logo by Thursday, December 09, 2004
My wife and I are going to a concert tomorrow. This is a rare event. Normally she doesn't go with me because she doesn't like smokey clubs and we also don't like a lot of the same music. Fair enough. But tomorrow's show is at a smoke-free club and it's music that both of us like. Plus, I know she will enjoy getting out of the house for a change. She'll have a really good time.
But for some reason I think she's been trying to get out of it. She's been making little excuses that don't hold up under scrutiny but that wear me down nonetheless. She also procrastinated three days in a row on calling the babysitter (she said she would, otherwise I would have called) until I suggested that maybe she hadn't called because she didn't want to go out with me. She said that wasn't true, though, and then she did call after all. But with all the hassle she's been giving me about it I'm starting to wonder why I even bothered to ask her to join me in the first place.
Maybe it's because I keep wanting to give her one last try before I give up on her. Once I give up it will be easier for me to justify having an affair. I keep thinking that maybe she's just in some sort of a funk that she'll snap out of. But eight years is one heck of a long funk.
So tomorrow we will go out together. We'll have fun. Maybe I'll even convince her to dance a little. When we get home the kids will be asleep. We'll have some rare time to ourselves. But she'll be tired. She'll want to go to sleep too. And that will be that.
And I'll go to bed dreaming of some other girl.
But for some reason I think she's been trying to get out of it. She's been making little excuses that don't hold up under scrutiny but that wear me down nonetheless. She also procrastinated three days in a row on calling the babysitter (she said she would, otherwise I would have called) until I suggested that maybe she hadn't called because she didn't want to go out with me. She said that wasn't true, though, and then she did call after all. But with all the hassle she's been giving me about it I'm starting to wonder why I even bothered to ask her to join me in the first place.
Maybe it's because I keep wanting to give her one last try before I give up on her. Once I give up it will be easier for me to justify having an affair. I keep thinking that maybe she's just in some sort of a funk that she'll snap out of. But eight years is one heck of a long funk.
So tomorrow we will go out together. We'll have fun. Maybe I'll even convince her to dance a little. When we get home the kids will be asleep. We'll have some rare time to ourselves. But she'll be tired. She'll want to go to sleep too. And that will be that.
And I'll go to bed dreaming of some other girl.
