logo by chick

To me virginity has very little to do with penetration and everything to do with sexual innoncence. It's all about the difference between a child and an adult. A middle-school child may overhear discussions of sex on the school bus. He may come across some porn on the internet. He may masturbate daily with a pile of dog-eared Playboys. But he has not yet experienced a sexual bond with another person. He still has the innocence of a child. He is still a virgin. A college girl is saving penetration for the right man. But at the same time she lets her boyfriend bring her to orgasm through intimate touching and oral sex. She hasn't actually felt his penis inside her, but nevertheless she knows what it's like to make love. She no longer has the innocence of a child. In my opinion, she is not really a virgin anymore. But other situations are not so obvious to me. What about the closet homosexual who still doesn't understand his sexual feelings? Maybe he has had heterosexual sex but has always felt unsatisfied like something is missing? Is he still a virgin? Or the 30-something computer geek who has never really had a girlfriend? Maybe there was the time when he was so desperate that he went to a massage parlor or saw a call girl. Maybe he knows what it feels like to come inside a woman. But has he ever really made love? Is he still a virgin? Or what about the woman in her forties who is married with three kids but has never had an orgasm. As a child she was told that masturbation is a sin. Her husband is an unemotional jerk who uses her body several times a week but cares only about pleasing himself. She has never really made love. Is she still a virgin?

What does virginity mean to you? Are you a virgin? If not, what happened to you that made you feel you had lost your virginity? Was it obvious when it happened or was it a conclusion that you came to only way after the fact? Did it make you happy or sad? Would you do it differently if you could?

Coming soon--how I lost my virginity...