Koochie Taster

2009-01-04T08:37:00.002-05:00

New Year's Day was the best afternoon I've had with a girl in over three years. No, it was not my wife (yes, I am still married). And no, we did not have sex.

More to come? We shall see...

2008-09-09T13:45:00.001-04:00

Hey Sara, send me an email. That business card you gave me isn't right.

2006-02-06T13:37:00.000-05:00

I saw this button in the hallway at work this morning, out by the elevators. I didn't think much of it at the time. But then, just a few minutes ago, I spotted another one, identical to the first, just a few feet away.

One button lying on the floor would simply indicate to me that someone lost a loose button from his or her shirt or blouse.

Two buttons, however, suggests a whole different story. I'm imagining some couple snuck up here over the weekend. This floor used to be vacant. Most of the tenants in the building think it still is. Judging by the location of the buttons, I'm betting they just barely made it out of the elevator before they were all over each other. He pinned her against the wall. He tried to get her blouse off, but he got frustrated. He tugged a little too hard. Buttons went flying...

Maybe I should go back out there and look for a used condom.

2006-02-05T20:47:00.000-05:00

This song is driving me fucking crazy...

I want to hold you close, skin pressed against me tight
lie still, close your eyes girl
so lovely, it feels so right
I want to hold you close; soft breath, beating heart
as I whisper in your ear, "I wanna fucking tear you apart"
--She Wants Revenge

2006-01-25T13:06:00.000-05:00

Late on a warm summer night I want you to put on a sun dress and nothing else and lead me out onto the deck. I want you to sit me down in a lounge chair, unbutton my shorts, take out my cock, and suck it gently until I am hard. And then I want you to climb on top of me and sit down, facing me, straddling me, and I want you to slowly lower yourself onto my cock and let me slide inside you. And I want you to kiss me and hold me while we make love out on the deck by the light of the moon.

2006-01-23T12:56:00.000-05:00

One of my readers wanted to know what else happened at the club on Friday, so here's a synopsis, as brief as I can make it:

Shortly after Lauren handed me the napkin and disappeared, another cute girl came up to the bar to order a drink. I was immediately taken by her beautiful red hair, but in contrast to Lauren, this girl seemed kind of shy and didn't seem to be comfortable making eye contact with me (Maybe she was from NYC?). If a girl won't make eye contact, I'll usually just leave her alone, but in this particular case her red hair was so riveting that after about a minute or so I couldn't take it any longer and blurted out, "I love your red hair. It's so pretty."

Well, apparently that was just the ticket, because you should have seen her face light up. All of a sudden she was all smiles and said, "Thank You!" And for the next 10 minutes while we waited for our drinks (the bartender was incredibly busy) we chatted and flirted and basically got along really well. Finally my drink came, and I told her I had to run off for a bit but that I would see her later. She smiled and said sure. And then, in a move of boldness on my part, I leaned in, put my arm around her, and said, "I want to dance with you." Well, apparently that was almost as good as telling her that I liked her hair, because she flashed me another pretty smile and said, "OK!" And with that, I ran off somewhere (probably to the men's room).

When I got back I went out onto the (very large) dance floor and wandered around a bit, looking for her. But it was dark and incredibly crowded so I eventually gave up trying to find her and ended up dancing with some pretty blonde girl for a while. At some point later, as I was trying to make my way through the crowd, the red-haired girl finally found me. And before long I was twirling her around and we were laughing and basically having a lot of fun. That is, until a bouncer came up and asked me to come with him.

Not sure what was up, I left the red-haired girl on the dance floor and followed the bouncer downstairs and out to the main lobby where he told me that he had gotten reports that someone who kinda fit my description had been harassing girls. He said he wasn't sure it was me, but in case it was, he wanted me to understand that he would throw me out if he heard of any more trouble. I told him I didn't think it was me (hell, there were probably 800 people in the place), but that I would try to behave regardless. He said, OK, and let me go.

I made my way back upstairs and the red-haired girl was waiting for me at the top of the steps. She asked what happened and I explained what the bouncer had said. We both looked at each other and shrugged as if to say, "Huh...that's odd." She then asked if I wanted to dance some more, but unfortunately the bouncer had kind of broken my mood a little so I told her that I needed a little break and would find her in a bit.

In retrospect, that was a mistake, because I never did find her again. An hour or two passed, and before I knew it the music stopped, the lights came on, and it was 2am. I wandered around for a while, still looking for her, and even checked out on the sidewalk as people were spilling out of the club on the off chance that she might be waiting outside, but no luck. So when I saw the right bus coming down the street, I hopped it over to the subway station and headed home.

I suppose it's probably just as well that I never found her again. Like Lauren, she probably didn't realize I was married, and I would have hated to waste her night if she had been hoping to hook up with some single guy. Hopefully that's exactly what happened. But from now on I need to always make sure to wear my wedding ring on the proper hand when I'm out at a club so as to eliminate any possibility of confusion.

2006-01-22T16:11:00.001-05:00

Well, looks like nothing is going to happen with Lauren, but at least she was very polite about it. And her letter underscores the fact that telling her the truth was definitely the right thing to do.

Yes, it was pretty crazy over there! I really, really appreciate your being so upfront about being married and all. I thought you were pretty cute, but I would rather not go out with someone who is hitched. Anyhoo, I hope you're doing well and I'm sure I'll run into you at the Black Cat again some time. Happy Trails to you!

: )
Lauren

2006-01-21T19:06:00.000-05:00

I was standing at the bar at a club last night, waiting for the bartender, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and saw a very cute girl smiling at me, and she handed me a folded-up napkin (pictured above) and said, "This is for you." But by the time I unfolded it and looked at what it said she was gone and I never saw her again.

Now here is my dilemma. Obviously I want to send her an email, but I'm not sure how to tell her that I'm married without making it sound like I'm unavailable. I have to assume that she doesn't know because I was wearing my ring on my right hand last night (I often wear it on my right hand because it's a little too big and it tends to slip off if I wear it on my left hand).

So I need a little help here. Can you give me some suggestions on what I should say so I don't end up scaring her off by mentioning that I have a wife?

Also...note to self: make sure this napkin goes out with the trash Tuesday morning. It would not do to have it lying around the house where it could be discovered.

2006-01-17T15:19:00.000-05:00

I had an interesting dream last night. Somehow I was out at a club with a bi girl and she and I were scouting around, trying to find a pretty young thing in her late teens to come home with us. We wanted to take her home and pamper her and teach her how to have fun and enjoy her body. Damn, I wish someone had done that to my wife years ago--might have loosened her up a bit. The problem is the dream ended way too early, and now I'm stuck here at work trying to finish it off in my mind. I kinda liked the idea of a girl and me working on another girl, a much younger girl, giving her the princess treatment. I could really get off on that. Of course, I can't even seem to find one girl to play around with, so two girls at once will probably have to remain a fantasy for the foreseeable future. But hey, I can at least put it on my list, right?

2006-01-15T12:17:00.000-05:00

At a fancy restaurant with a long tablecloth I want to take my foot out of my shoe and slip it up your little black dress. And I want you to spread your legs so I can slide my foot up between your thighs and press it against your crotch, massaging you gently while you look me in the eyes and bite your lip. And I want to keep my foot there when the waiter comes to take your order. And I want to watch you tell him what you want while my foot slowly caresses your pussy and you struggle to keep a straight face.

2006-01-12T17:09:00.000-05:00

I want you to strip for me and then I want to watch you masturbate to orgasm. I want you to come into the room, close the door with a naughty smile on your face, and begin to peel off your sexy little outfit. One by one I want you to take off each item you're wearing and toss it aside, pausing to let me admire you after each article of clothing comes off. Take off everything except your little while cotton panties, and then crawl onto the bed, lay down on your back, and begin to pleasure yourself. Caress your breasts and squeeze your nipples. Spread your legs and reach your hand down to touch yourself through your panties, pressing and massaging. Then slip your hand down into your panties and into your slit, getting your fingers wet and continuing to massage yourself. Then, as your arousal builds, lift your hips and slide your panties off. Then move your hand back to your pussy and continue where you left off, arching your back, caressing your chest, and bringing yourself to the top. And when you climax, don't hold back. Scream and moan and writhe on the bed, knowing that I am watching and enjoying every second of my beautiful girl making love to herself.

2006-01-06T14:42:00.000-05:00

A letter to my wife...

I want you to get excited at the thought of touching me and of being touched by me. So excited that you purposely wear sexy clothes to tease me and seduce me. I want to see more skin. More of your beautiful neck, shoulders, and arms. More tight little tops that flatter your perfect breasts and give me a glimpse of your cute tummy when you reach your pretty arms up over your head. I want you to wear tighter jeans, more miniskirts and mini-dresses, and more sandals. Most of all I want you to feel good about yourself, about your desires, and about your beautiful body so that you become aroused just thinking about how good you look. I want you to be so worked up that when we get a free moment together you jump on me because you just can't wait another minute to touch me and to feel my touch.

I want you to throw your arms around me and kiss me deeply and passionately, exploring my mouth with your tongue. I want you to start taking my clothes off in the middle of the kiss, briefly pulling your mouth away only when absolutely necessary to locate a button or to pull something off.

I want you to caress me with passion. Show me that you can't keep your hands off of me. And show me that you need me to touch you too. Make me touch you. Place my hands on your chest. Shove my hand down between your legs. Reach down and touch yourself if my hand moves away, and then grab my hand and place it back where it was.

I want you to kiss me everywhere. My neck, my chest, my arms, my legs, my cock, my balls. I want your mouth to be constantly busy. And I want you to insist on the same from me. I want you to tell me to kiss your neck, your arms, your nipples, your tummy, your thighs, your calves, your pussy. I want you to spread your legs with desire when I go near your crotch with my mouth or my hands. I want you to ask me to lick, kiss, and nibble your inner thighs, your pubic mound, and your labia.

I want to slide my fingers in and out of your vagina, feeling you from the inside, soft, warm, and moist, getting my fingers wet with your juices and feeling your muscles contract and release. I want to taste your pussy. I want to stick my tongue inside. I want to run my tongue up and down the folds of your skin, teasing your clit. And I want you to love it so much that you put your hands behind the back of my head and pull my face into your crotch and wrap your legs tightly around my back. And when your lubrication reaches its peak and your orgasm comes, I want to nuzzle in your wetness and cover my face with it. And afterwards I want you to kiss me deeply and openly, loving the taste of your own sweet juices on my lips.

I want to slide my cock into you and have you spread your legs and lift your hips to take as much of me inside as possible and get as close and physically connected to me as you can. I want you to wrap your arms around me when I am deep inside you and look me in the eyes and kiss me ravenously, nibbling and sucking my lips and my tongue. All the while I want you to squeeze your vaginal muscles as if you're trying to hold onto my cock and keep it inside you forever.

I want you to lick, kiss, and suck my cock and my balls, taking them into your mouth and swirling around with your tongue the way I love to do with your nipples and your clit. I want you to gently lick the sensitive underside of my cock. I want you to wet your lips, place them around my cock, and bob your head up and down so your lips slide up and down my shaft, bringing me toward orgasm. And when I climax, I want to ejaculate into your mouth while you eagerly lap up and swallow every last drop.

I want to do all these things with you and more. But not just in the bedroom. I want to make love to you the living room, the kitchen, the car, at your sister's house, at your parent's house, on the top of a mountain, on the beach at night, on a train.

In short, I want you and I to be each other's naughty playmates, anywhere and anytime the mood strikes us, simply because it's fun and because we love each other and because we can't get enough of each other.

More to come...a lot more...

2005-12-27T13:33:00.000-05:00

"Can I have a kiss?" she said.

I turned and looked at her. I had just walked up to the bar to get a drink, and she was sitting on a stool to the right of me.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"I was wondering if you'd give me a kiss," she said, pointing over to my left. I looked over to where she was pointing and noticed a bowl of Hershey's Kisses.

"Ah," I said, "I see." I began to reach over to the bowl...

"No," she said, "I'm just kidding. I don't really want one. It's just that there's no mistletoe around here, you know?"

"Right," I said, pulling my hand back away from the bowl and looking around the room as if to confirm that there was indeed a lack of mistletoe, "That's an interesting line, though. I'll have to remember that. Except that it's not every day you find a bowl of kisses on the bar."

Several moments passed while I flagged down the bartender and ordered my drink.

"I'm serious about the kiss, though," she said.

"Have you been upstairs yet?" I asked, wondering if anyone had started dancing yet.

"No, but I'm going up as soon as my friends arrive. Are you going up too?" she asked.

"Yes. I'm gonna head up there now. If you'd like to dance, track me down when you get up there," I offered.

"Actually, I don't dance much," she said, "But I'm sure I'll still be up for that kiss."

"Oh yeah?" I asked, "OK...we'll see." I smiled at her, took my beer, and headed for the staircase.

2005-12-25T13:42:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope someone fucks you silly today.

Multiple times.

2005-12-17T22:29:00.000-05:00

My boss sent me this joke the other day. Somehow I don't think I'll be getting any roses on my bedside table anytime soon.

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees are a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose. Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping--Love you!" He stumbles to the kitchen and morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, vomited in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, THAT.....Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!'"

Broken furniture - $85.26
Hot Breakfast - $4.20
Red Rose bud - $3.00
Two Aspirins - $.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless

2005-12-13T11:32:00.000-05:00

The Scene: Lunchroom, approximately noon

[hot girl #1 walks past our table]

[hot girl #2 walks past our table and smiles at me]

[hot girl #3 walks past our table]

Coworker #1: Have you noticed the attractive girls walking past our table today. It's like nonstop.

Me: Yes, I noticed. What's up with that?

[hot girl #4 walks past and smiles at coworker #1]

Me: [trying to stifle a laugh]

Coworker #1: At first I was just glancing, but now I find myself increasingly unable to avert my gaze.

[hot girl #2 walks past again]

Me: Exactly

[hot girl #2 walks past again]

Me: I especially like her.

Coworker #1: Who? Maddie?

Me: Yes. She has a nice...shape.

Coworker #1: I agree. Not too skinny, not too big.

Me: She has just a little bit of a tummy. For some reason I want to touch it.

Coworker #2: [chuckles] You guys are too much.

Me: You don't agree?

[hot girl #3 walks by again]

Coworker #1: damn

Coworker #2: I didn't say I didn't agree

Makes you kind of wonder what the girls are talking about at their table, doesn't it?

2005-12-08T08:11:00.000-05:00

Our neighborhood indoor pool recently reopened after undergoing a major three-month renovation, and I went there last night for the first time since then. I must say, it's very nice. The whole entire facility, floor to ceiling, looks brand new. Not bad for a place that is at least 20, if not 30, years old.

But what really caught my eye was a sign on the wall next to the hot tub that said, "This is a CO-ED facility. Bathing suits must be worn at all times."

I can't say I've ever seen such a sign at any other pool I've been to. And that makes me wonder--since rules are usually made to address some sort of problem, does that imply that there is a problem with nudity at this pool? If that's the case, I need to start going there a lot more often. I mean, really, why would someone take the time and expense of making up a sign like that unless there was an issue?

The other thing that struck me as funny about this sign was the first sentence. In my mind, the fact that the facility is CO-ED is that much more of a reason why bathing suits should NOT be worn. So, in a way, the sign seems to contradict itself.

But that's just me.

2005-12-06T17:20:00.000-05:00

An online friend recently related a little story to me. We'll call her M. She's about my age, and she said that back in grad school when she lived in Arizona she was best friends with this guy we'll call B. And B eventually ended up getting married to someone we'll call W. M is single, by the way.

Anyway, as it turned out, when B got married, W told B that he could no longer be friends with M because W was afraid that M had a thing for B.

Now, right there this makes me not like W very much.

So B and W got married and eventually M moved away to Washington, DC. It was hard for M and B to keep up their friendship due to the long distance and the fact that they had to hide it from W, but somehow they managed. And every now and then when B came to New York City on business, M would drive up to see him.

Well, by and by, on one of these trips, M and B hooked up. It was inevitable if you ask me. So you could say that W was right all along.

Or at least, she was right in predicting what would happen. But I don't think she was justified in trying to keep it from happening.

B loved W and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. But he also loved M, even if he didn't know it at the time. And M loved him.

And now there is a cloud of secrets, mistrust, and resentment over the lives of these people.

I think marriage should be a vow to stand by each other, support each other, etc., but I don't think it should restrict who you can love. Love is not something that can be restrained by contracts. Love does what it wants to do. Love comes and goes as it pleases.

As long as B still comes home to W at the end of the day, is there for her when she needs him, and is a good father to their children, isn't that what really matters?

2005-11-30T14:59:00.000-05:00

A while back, 81 Vaginas wrote something about being in junior high and about how your whole goal as a guy back then was to try and find a girl who would let you touch her.

The operative word being "let"

It wasn't so much a matter of whether she longed to be touched. Or whether you were a part of her idealized young-girl fantasies. It didn't matter what she thought about you, as long as she would "let" you slip your hand into her panties.

Back then, apparently, that was enough.

But somewhere along the line that gets old.

At 35, I want a girl who wants me just as much as I want her.

A girl who doesn't create arbitrary rules, artificial boundaries, and rigid limits.

A girl who wants to enjoy passion, togetherness, and intimacy...simply because it's fun and it feels right.

Without that it sometimes seems that I'm still stuck back in junior high.

2005-11-29T17:38:00.000-05:00

Breaking News! If there are any guys reading this who would like the perfect opportunity to meet and converse with 30-something women, get your ass over to Toys R Us any weekday morning this week after 9:00. I guarantee you the place will be full of cute MILFs, and because of the time of day there will be very few children and dads, most of whom will be in school or at work. There are all kinds of opportunities for small talk in a toy store this time of year, and If you're tall you may even get an opportunity to reach up and get that Barbie or Thomas The Tank Engine down for her from the top shelf.

2005-11-28T20:34:00.000-05:00

We stayed at my sister-in-law's house for Thanksgiving. And on Friday my wife's parents came over to watch our kids for the evening so my wife and I could go out on a date.

Me: So hey, if your parents are gonna be here, that means their house will be empty, so we could sneak over there and play around in your old bed, right?

Wife: Uh, I don't think so. My parents are using my bedroom as a storage area and there are boxes piled high on my bed.

Me: What about your sister's bed?

Wife: That's where my Dad sleeps these days.

Me: He doesn't sleep with your Mom?

Wife: Nope. Apparently he snores too much.

Me: Nice. Well, what about the couch in the living room?

Wife: Actually, I don't even have a key to their house, so it's a moot point.

Me: Ask them for one.

Wife: But then they'll want to know why. They'll suspect something.

Me: They'll suspect that their married daughter might be having a little fun with her husband?

Wife: Exactly.

Me: So what? Let them suspect.

Wife: No. They won't go for it. They're weird like that. I don't think anyone's allowed to do that in their house.

Me: Including the two of them, I'm guessing.

But all was not lost. Later on when we got back to her sister's place and everyone else had gone to bed for the night I was sitting on the futon in the living room and she came up and sat down beside me and asked if I wanted to make out a little.

Well, you don't have to ask me twice. And before long the futon had been folded down into a bed and I had her pinned on her back with all her clothes off except for her socks and her sweater which somehow ended up around her waist (No, it wasn't a tube top, just a regular sweater, so how it ended up around her waist is somewhat baffling, but there it was nonetheless). She was about as wet as I've ever felt her, and when she came it was fast, hard, and intense.

Afterwards, as we lay there naked in her sister's living room, I suggested that maybe we should get a futon for our own living room, to which she laughed and said that it might not be such a bad idea.

I tried to hide her bra in the futon so someone else would find it, but she was wise to me and retrieved it so there would be no evidence.

2005-11-23T10:00:00.000-05:00

I'll be out of town for a few days, so I hope everyone has a good Thanksgiving.

Today I was thinking about some of the hottest stories I've read online over the past couple years. It took me a while to dig them out, but here's a few. They're worth a look. I like them because, as far as I know, they're real and not just fantasy.

Franny (part 1)
Franny (part 2)
Franny (part 3)

Coming

Snap Shot

2005-11-22T21:16:00.000-05:00

I had to go to the airport this evening for business, and man let me tell you, the number of hotties there in the terminal was unbelievable. But what was even more remarkable was the unprecedented percentage of them who were completely uninhibited about making extended eye contact with me. I sat myself down on a bench for a few minutes while I ate my Cinnabon and just watched people walking past me on their way to catch their flights. I had only been seated for maybe 30 seconds when a pretty young thing looked my way and smiled. Then looked again. Then looked a third time. And then another girl looked and smiled. And then another. Damn, I thought...Is there something on my shirt? Is my fly open? I'm not quite sure what the deal was, but short of something embarrassing that I never figured out, I have to say it was quite an ego booster.

Come to think of it, though, maybe it was the Cinnabon. Darn.

2005-11-19T22:20:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking of you and imagining that we are in a cozy room in an old, restored bed & breakfast. A fire crackles in the fireplace. The room is nice and toasty warm in spite of the snow that is coming down in the dark night outside. We are naked and are playing around on a nice, old, four-poster bed with soft flannel sheets and a handmade quilt. You are lying on your back, splayed out with your hands slightly above your head and your legs slightly parted. And you are giggling a little because I am trying to find things to use to tie you to the bed. There's your scarf and my tie, neither of which are in use at the moment. So I take the scarf and use it to tie your right wrist to the bedpost. Snug, but not too tight. My tie then secures your other wrist to the other post. Damn, you look so good lying on your back like that. So pretty. So vulnerable. So feminine. But your legs are still free, and that won't do. I hunt around for something else. I decide to use my dress shirt and your blouse. I'm hoping you won't pull enough to rip them, but I don't think you will. You want to be tied down. You want me to enjoy your sexy body. You want me to make you crazy with desire. Crazy with lust.

Just the act of me tying you down, one limb at a time, is getting each of us very aroused. And the naughty smile on your face reveals a seductive mix of contentment and desire. Once I have you secured, splayed out for me with nothing to hide, I lean down and begin to explore your body completely, one inch at a time--running my fingers across your soft white skin, leaving little kisses every step of the way. Up and down your arms. Behind your ears. Along your neck. You are so very beautiful. I lay my head on your chest for a minute to hear your heartbeat and to watch the gentle rise and fall of your breasts with each breath you take. Then I begin to kiss each breast in turn, leaving a spiral circle of kisses from the outside in, until I reach your nipple which I kiss and then lick a little before taking it into my mouth, swirling it around with my tongue and biting gently. Then I move down along your side, kissing the smooth curve of your hip and your outer thigh. One at a time I take each leg in my arms, massaging your feet, kissing your toes, and then slowly working my way back up, kneading your calves and then your thighs, leaving little kisses as I go. Then, moving your legs a little farther apart, I take a moment to pause and admire your pussy.

Kissing your tummy and your inner thighs, I watch as the glistening wetness between your legs begins to grow. It fascinates me to watch you get visibly wetter as the moments pass. It is almost torture for you as you lie there squirming while I admire your ever-wettening pussy from just a few inches away. I tease you by blowing my warm breath onto your glistening labia.

Pressing my lips to your most intimate place, I kiss you tenderly and you moan sharply and lift your hips upward. But then I pull away, not wanting to rush, wanting to explore more. I crawl up higher, kissing your chest, your shoulders, your neck. Nibbling on your ears. Shifting my weight slightly I lower my body down against you, skin on skin, feeling your warmth against mine. I look into your eyes and smile. You smile back. I slide my arms underneath you, squeezing you tightly, and kiss you on the lips. I move my hard cock so it is just pressing against the slippery opening of your vagina. Teasing. You are so ready to feel me thrust deeply into you. I am so ready to plunge myself in and feel your willing body engulf me.

I'll stop there. I'm sure you can imagine the rest ;)

2005-11-17T21:19:00.000-05:00

I just found out that one of my favorite downtown bars, a place that normally hosts live rock bands, is foregoing the concert idea next week in favor of a night of "Amateur Female Pumpkin Pie Wrestling."

Half-naked girls and pumpkin pie...two of my favorite things in the whole world. Could there be a more tacky and yet strangely tempting combination?

What are the chances that I could lick the pumpkin pie off of the girls when they're done?

2005-11-16T22:00:00.000-05:00

Sometimes a little night-light is all you need.

2005-11-15T16:13:00.000-05:00

I'm taking an offsite class today. A boring class. The guy who is teaching it is a smart guy, but it's a very dry subject, and there are nothing but guys in this class.

And to make matters worse, the class across the hall seems to be almost nothing but girls. It even has a hottie female instructor.

Obviously I'm in the wrong class.

Every now and then the class across the hall will let out for break, and the students will all go down the hall to the break room, but my class never seems to have a break at the same time. So all I can do is watch them through the doorway.

It's torture.

I wonder if any of them are thinking, "God this class is boring. I wonder if any of those guys in the class across the hall would be willing to take me out to the parking lot and suck my clit in the back seat of his car..."

2005-11-11T22:20:00.000-05:00

A married blogger I've been reading received this email recently from a girl with whom he is having an affair:

Gotta tell you, I'm thrilled to have found a normal, intelligent person with a great life, minus the same aspect my life is missing - and I'm really enjoying filling that void with you. I feel so much more complete. It's done wonders for my relationship with my husband. I no longer feel an incredible rage at being deprived of sex, which makes me a much nicer person to be around.

Ten years ago there is no way I would have ever believed that any married person would deprive his or her spouse of such a wonderful thing as sex. I was so naive. I feel both sad and happy for this woman at the same time.

I would link to this guy's page because I very much enjoy reading what he has to say, but he has requested that no one link to him, and I can understand that.

2005-11-10T00:24:00.000-05:00

I was in bed last night reading a book and for some reason it occurred to me that I haven't posted a thursday pic in a while.

2005-11-09T14:04:00.000-05:00

I've decided that if my wife is not going to initiate sex and if she's gonna say no most of the time when I initiate it, that I'm just not gonna initiate it any more and see what happens. Eventually, she's gotta give in, right? Right? I've made these kind of resolutions in the past and they've lasted, at most, for maybe a day or two until I can't take it anymore and need some sort of intimacy. But this time I'm going pretty good and have been able to hold out for a couple weeks so far. I almost blew it this morning, though. We woke up and she was looking so damn hot. I slipped my hand under her nightie and began to caress her back and her shoulders. And then her hips, her legs, her chest. Her nightie was a maternity nightie that was left over from a few years ago and therefore had holes in front for easy boob access (Personally I think all nighties should have this feature). And one of the holes slipped open, tempting me with a hard, pretty, pink nipple which I began to kiss and nibble on gently. And then my hand slipped down to her belly and then down in between her legs. She parted her legs wider, lifting her hips and pressing her crotch against my hand. But then I backed off and moved my hand back up to her shoulders. I wanted to see if she would make any attempt to make this a mutually enjoyable play session. Perhaps a hand on my balls? Or a caress of my chest? Or even some little strategic kisses around my ears or neck? But no. She just lay there. It seemed that maybe she wanted more. But really, I'm sick and tired of always giving it to her and getting nothing in return. So I waited a little more and continued to caress and kiss her here and there, but made sure not to venture back down between her legs. Eventually she said we'd be late if we didn't get up soon. And with that she slowly (reluctantly?) pulled away and got out of bed. So I guess I pulled it off for one more day. My hope is that at some point she's gonna want it badly enough that she'll have to give in, play fair, and give me a little something too without me having to ask. I'm just hoping it happens soon, because I don't know how much longer I can go.

2005-11-07T09:31:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we packed the kids into the minivan and drove out to the mountains to have a picnic and to see the fall foliage. Late in the day we came across an old lodge on the top of a mountain. The rooms in the lodge have fantastic views, including this one. Years ago, before our kids were born, I remember my wife and I standing in this very same spot around the very same time of day, and I remember trying to convince her to get a room and stay overnight at the lodge instead of driving back to the city. But we didn't have a change of clothes, etc., etc., and I couldn't convince her to stay. Now I wonder if she regrets not staying back when we were younger and had the freedom to do stuff like that. Frankly I wonder if she even remembers.

2005-11-03T17:02:00.000-05:00

So about seven of us guys were walking back into the building today after having gone out for lunch. And as we got up to the main entrance, Katie, a young woman who works for another company in the same building, walked out the door, presumably heading out to her car in the parking lot. Now, Katie is about 24 years old and is extremely pleasant to look at. And today she was wearing a very nice little denim mini-skirt (emphasis on little). And as she passed our group of guys she looked up at Stew, one of our older, married, gray-haired engineers. She then smiled and said, "Hey Stew, how's it going?" To which Stew immediately blushed and mumbled something friendly in return.

Now what I want to know is, what's Stew got that the rest of us don't? And more importantly, how often is he giving it to Katie?

2005-11-01T22:38:00.000-05:00

I sleep naked about 360 days out of the year. The only time I don't sleep naked is when I'm feeling sick and I need just a little bit of extra warmth to keep from feeling chilly. Tonight I'm on day two of what has been (thankfully) a very mild cold which I expect to be fully recovered from by tomorrow. So, yes, I'm sleeping in a t-shirt and boxers tonight. But tomorrow I'll be naked again. In case anybody cares. lol.

Or is that...too much information?

2005-10-29T11:05:00.000-04:00

Several weeks ago I was downtown after seeing a concert at a local nightclub. It was about 1am or so. I was sitting on a bench on the sidewalk, eating a slice of pizza, minding my own business, and watching all the people milling about on their way to or from the various bars, clubs, and restaurants. I was planning on catching the subway home as soon as I finished my slice, but just then a group of four girls came along, and one of them noticed my pizza and asked where I had gotten it. And before long we were all engaged in conversation. That would have been pleasant enough, but it didn't stop there. Soon, three of the girls sat down next to me on the bench, and the fourth girl decided she was cold, sat down on my lap, and asked if I would warm her up. Well, far be it from me to be rude, so I put my arms around her and the five of us sat there and continued to talk. Eventually, the girl on my lap noticed my wedding ring and wanted to know what it was for, to which I explained that it was exactly what she thought it was--that I was married. She seemed to consider it for a moment, and then turned around to face me and said that she "knew all about it" and said that she had recently gotten divorced after eight years of marriage. She then asked if I'd like to go dancing. Now at this point it was getting rather late, and I had really not intended to meet anyone, let alone go dancing. But apparently when a pretty girl is sitting on your lap, asking you to dance with her, it's kind of hard to say no. So we all got up and walked about a block or so down to where there was a dance club. When we got inside, lap-girl immediately pulled me tightly against her and started dancing very slow and close. But about 30 seconds later she looked around and realized that only one of her friends had made it into the club. She said, just a sec, and pulled away from me and went over to the window where we could see that her other two friends were still outside on the sidewalk. She said she'd be right back and ran outside to find out why they hadn't come in. That left me and her other friend looking at each other awkwardly. We danced (not close) for a minute or so until she decided that she wanted to go outside too and find out what the holdup was. Now at this point, I really had to use the restroom, so I ran off, and when I got back, I realized I had completely lost the girls in the crowd. There was a huge throng outside on the sidewalk, and it was even more crowded inside. I went upstairs and looked around for a minute until it dawned on me that rather than trying to find them again, this was my chance to disappear discretely. So I pushed my way through the crowd and out onto the sidewalk. I looked around tentatively one more time but still didn't see them, and then I walked off to the subway. Curiously, when I got down to the platform, the two girls who had not come into the club were standing there waiting for the train. They recognized me and called me the pizza man and explained that they were tired and hadn't really wanted to go dancing after all. And they also said that lap-girl and the fourth girl were apparently still at the dance club in case I wanted to go back and find them. But really, I didn't. Several months ago I might have been all over lap-girl, but things have changed recently, and all I really wanted to do was go home and go to bed. So that's what I did. I rode the train with the two girls until I got to my stop and then I got up and said goodnight to them. They waved and smiled and said goodnight pizza man. And then I stepped off the train, went home, and went to bed.

2005-10-26T21:25:00.000-04:00

I just ran across this story that I wrote a couple months ago and never published. In fact, it's a continuation of another story that I also never published. But I think it stands on its own for the most part, and it seems a shame not to publish it. So, for what it's worth...here it is...

After what seems like a blissful eternity in the bathtub together, we finally decide to get out of the tub. We climb out together and put on the thick terrycloth hotel bathrobes. And I scoop you up and carry you over to the bed. I toss you down on your back. And you're laughing as I scramble on top of you. Kissing you. I pull your robe apart a little. And make a line of kisses down the center of your chest. To your belly button. And then lower. I kiss the top of your pubic mound. Lightly first and then more firmly. The muscles in your tummy are quivering, and you part your legs a little bit for me. You put your hands on my shoulders and then move them to my head, running your fingers through my hair. I kiss you again and move my lips down to lightly trace the outline of your slit. There is a hint of wetness, and I taste it with my tongue. And then, pressing my tongue deeper, the wetness becomes greater with both your juices and my saliva. Our hearts are racing now and your breathing is becoming harder. Leaning in again, I kiss the area just above your slit, licking in little circles with my tongue. My tongue briefly dips into the very top of your slit as I begin to kiss up and down your outer labia. You moan gently as I push your legs wide open, and my tongue dips into your intimate folds, licking you tenderly. Sometimes barely touching, sometimes lapping hungrily. Sometimes long, slow licks, sometimes faster, quicker licks. You are very wet and slippery now, and your juices are all over my face. Up and down I lick on either side of your clit, teasing it and giving it increasingly more attention. Little kisses. Little sucks. Almost at the point of losing control, you now lift your hips up and press your crotch into my face and I begin to lap at you rhythmically, moaning into your sweet pussy, feeling the hardness of your clit against my tongue. And then you cum. You REALLY cum. You scream. I moan. And I continue to lap away at your beautiful, slippery, wet, intimate place, loving everything about it, everything about you, everything about this moment. Never wanting it to end. And when it does finally end and you lie there spent, making little whimpering noises, and trying to catch your breath, I continue to keep my face pressed against you, rubbing out the last little sensations for you. Loving the warmth and the wetness and the incredible intimacy. Eventually... reluctantly... I move free and climb up to look you in the eyes. And we hold each other. And we kiss again. Deeply. And passionately.

2005-10-25T16:28:00.001-04:00

She was born on February 4th, 1975, which means she's 30 years old now.

Damn. How times flies.

The last time I saw her, hugged her, felt her body against mine, she was only 18. And I was 23.

Her name was S. She was the younger sister of my ex-girlfriend.

Everyone knew that S and I had a thing for each other. My girlfriend knew. Her parents knew. My parents knew.

I guess it was pretty obvious. When S and I would hug, it was always just a little too close. And a little too long.

I would go over to their house even if my girlfriend wasn't around, just to see S.

But for some reason nobody seemed to mind. Everyone thought it was cute.

My girlfriend used to get a kick out of tricking me into revealing my naughty thoughts about her younger sister.

Once when I spent the night over at their house, it was S, not my girlfriend, who came downstairs to hang out with me after everyone had gone to bed.

It was S who was always the first to invite me to family events. She invited me to her high-school graduation, her birthday parties, her high-school play. And I went.

When my girlfriend broke up with me it was S who cried and cried when she found out that I wouldn't be coming over anymore for family dinners.

And their mother all but told me flat out that I was more than welcome to date S if her older daughter was crazy enough to dump me.

But it wasn't meant to be.

Or at least...it never happened. Whether it was meant to be is something I guess I'll never know for sure.

After her sister and I broke up, S and I started emailing each other. We wrote long, drawn-out letters to each other.

But by then I had moved to a far-away city. The long distance was part of what contributed to her sister and I breaking up, and I vowed to myself that I would never, ever, get involved in another long-distance relationship.

But a man sees things differently at different stages in his life.

I would have been S's first boyfriend. Now I wonder how many guys she's had. Is she married? Does she have kids? A career?

Eventually we drifted apart. The emails became less frequent. And then they stopped. I met my wife-to-be. And life moved on.

2005-10-24T20:50:00.000-04:00

"Would you like an orgasm?"

That's the question that my wife asked me the other day after she had finally recovered from the one I had given her.

Now...let's see here...

1. She knows I love orgasms (who doesn't?)
2. I can't even remember the last time she gave me one
3. Isn't it a big turn-on to make someone cum? (It sure is for me)

So why does she have to ask in that tone of voice that says she's kinda hoping I'll just say no? In fact, why even ask at all?

"Well...you don't have to...", I replied.

So she didn't.

2005-10-21T08:30:00.000-04:00

I finally met her. After knowing each other online for over a year and going from casual acquaintances to friends to much more than friends without ever even hearing each other's voices, we finally had an opportunity to meet this past week. And what a wonderful stolen day we had together! I still can hardly believe it happened--that for one beautiful day we played hookey and let the rest of the world do its thing while we spent the time in each others arms, walking hand in hand, sitting quietly together, talking about everything, and talking about nothing. It had been so long that I had truly forgotten what it is like to feel this way about another person. Sadly our time together eventually had to come to an end, and it won't be easy for us to see each other again. But for the first time in a long time I can honestly say that, at least for the moment, I am truly content. My life is far from perfect, but she has given me back much of what has been missing for so long. And for now...that's good enough.

2005-10-08T13:55:00.000-04:00

It's raining. It's been raining for almost two days now. I guess you notice it more when it hasn't rained in a long time. Out behind my house is a paved trail that runs for miles and miles through the woods. I'd like to be walking on that trail right now, enjoying this rainy afternoon, with someone's hand in mind. My wife's hand, perhaps, if she was a different person inside. I asked her. She's not interested. My daughter's hand, perhaps. She'd love to go. She could wear her rain poncho and her rain boots and bring her Winnie the Pooh umbrella. But my wife won't let her out in the rain. She might catch a cold. I could go by myself, I guess. I tell myself that maybe I'll meet someone on the trail. Or I could just imagine that I'm with someone special. It takes a special kind of person to enjoy the rain.

2005-10-06T23:53:00.000-04:00

I'm sorry. I don't have a pic for you today. I didn't even realize it was Thursday until about 10:00 this morning. And even if I had, things were just too crazy busy at home last night. Plus, I don't have any good ideas.

Is that enough excuses?

On a totally unrelated topic, here's what my wife and I talked about while driving somewhere this morning in rush-hour traffic:

Wife: Watch! He doesn't see you. [While I was trying to merge onto the expressway. He saw me, btw. And I saw him.]

Wife: Look out! [Traffic ahead was slowing down rapidly. I saw it and reacted before she pointed it out to me.]

Wife: Don't speed! [As I was accelerating from 30 mph to 40 mph on a 55mph highway in preparation for merging into the fast-moving carpools-only lane.]

Wife: That pickup truck is veering into our lane! [He wasn't. It just looked that way. And I was ready for him if he did.]

Wife: Maybe you should get out of his way. [About a minute later. Referring to the same truck who still seemed perfectly content to stay in his own lane.]

Wife: You're not gonna be able to get over in time to make the exit. [The exit had only just shown up on the horizon.]

Wife: There's no way you can get around this guy. [As I smoothly accelerated and pulled in front of the guy with about five or six car-lengths to spare.]

By the time we got to where we were going I really could have used a stiff drink. And it had nothing to do with the traffic.

2005-10-05T15:12:00.000-04:00

Several of us went over to a customer's facility yesterday to hear one of our coworkers give a talk. And right in the middle of his presentation this unbelievably gorgeous young blonde walked into the room and sat down in the back of the room. She had a beautiful face, an amazing body, a stylish fitted blouse, trendy black slacks that clung to her in a delicious way, and a killer pair of high-heeled shoes. But what all of us noticed more than anything else was the gigantic diamond on her finger. The thing sparkled like it had batteries. We never found out who she was, and she got up and left shortly after the presentation ended.

Later on, after we left the customer's facility, we were all sitting around a table eating lunch, and the guy who had been giving the talk piped up and said, "Did you see the rock on that girl's finger? She must be getting some serious action at home."

To which everyone nodded in enthusiastic agreement.

Everyone, that is, except me. And after a few moments I said, "Yeah, right. What marriage is like that?"

At which point everyone at the table fell silent and stared at me like I had two heads.

2005-10-03T15:15:00.000-04:00

She hired a babysitter for the evening
So we could have some time alone together
But we didn't know where to go
I suggested someplace near the center of town
So we could walk around afterwards
Hand in hand
Past the fountain in the town square
Do some window shopping
But she said she didn't feel like going for a walk
We went into town anyway
And decided to try a new restaurant
It was good and we stayed for dessert
And then she said let's go for a walk
So we walked around
Hand in hand
Past the fountain in the town square
We did some window shopping
Then she said she was cold
So we stopped there in the middle of the sidewalk
And embraced
And kissed
And kissed some more
And then we continued on our walk
But we soon stopped again
I leaned back against a shop window
And she pressed herself against me
One of her legs between mine
Her crotch against my thigh
My arms around her waist
Her arms around my neck
And we kissed some more
And talked
And kissed
And talked
And held each other tight
Oblivious to the people walking by on the sidewalk
After a while she pulled away a little
And began to stroke my chest through my shirt
And we continued to talk
The she turned around and leaned back against me
Her back to my chest
And she pulled my arms around her chest
And we talked some more
And watched the people walking past us on the sidewalk
I slid my hand up and cupped her breast
And kept it there
She sighed and leaned her head back against my shoulder
I kissed her on the cheek
And we talked some more
And before we knew it an hour had passed

The really good times don't come very often, so you have to savor them when they do

2005-09-30T09:54:00.000-04:00

My wife and I were talking the other day and somehow got on the subject of our doctors, i.e., out general practitioners, internists, or whatever they call them these days, and I was lamenting the fact that my doctor's office is so far away (he's near where we used to live).

Wife: Maybe you should try my doctor. She's just down the road from here. I think you'd like her.

Me: What makes you say that?

Wife: Well...she wears cute outfits.

Me: Oh yeah? Like what?

Wife: I don't know...just...she always looks so pretty. Fashionable. I'm jealous of her clothes. I'll bet they're expensive. She has this one little sleeveless dress...she looks so good in it.

Me: Really? How old is she?

Wife: About my age.

Me: So...is she a hottie?

Wife: [exasperated sigh] Alright...you know...I don't think I want you to see her after all if that's the way you're gonna think.

I was just asking... So I guess I'm stuck with my current doctor. It's probably for the best, though, because, I'm thinking, if she is a hottie and she wears cute outfits I could totally see myself getting a "happy" while she's examining me.

Although...come to think of it...would that be such a bad thing?

2005-09-27T21:21:00.000-04:00

I stopped on the way home from work to get some boardwalk fries at the only place I know this far from the ocean that actually sells them. And as I stood there at the counter waiting for my number to be called, a woman about my age caught my eye. She was sitting at a table with someone I'm guessing was her husband. She got up and walked up to the counter to get some napkins and I smiled and said hi to her and she smiled and said hi back and we stood there looking at each other, smiling for a second or two until she turned around walked back to her seat. My eyes followed her ass as she walked away--during which time I was vaguely aware of the girl behind the counter calling out a number. I averted my gaze from the woman's ass as she sat down and then turned to look at the girl who, about three feet away from me, continued to yell out somebody's number. Number 12. Number 12. NUMBER 12! I looked at the girl, wondering where number 12 was and why he wasn't coming to pick up his fries, all the while thinking about the woman's smile and her ass. It was at least another 20 seconds and several more "NUMBER 12!!!" yells right into my ear before I finally got my mind off of the woman's ass long enough to look at my ticket which, of course, said "12" on it. So I sheepishly handed it to the girl and she looked at it and looked at me and we both burst out laughing as she handed me my fries. And as I left with my bag of fries I glanced back at the woman and noticed that she too was stifling a giggle in my direction. What can I say? It's been a long day.

2005-09-15T08:23:00.000-04:00

If I'm only posting on Half-Nekkid Thursdays does that mean I'm still blogging? Good question. Anyway, we had a great time at the beach. As a kid I remember outdoor showers always being cooooold, but this one, mercifully, had both hot and cold running water--a blessing for those cooler early evenings when the sun has already dropped below the roofs of the houses.

2005-09-02T23:06:00.000-04:00

OK, folks, I'm off to the beach for a week. If I'm lucky, this time tomorrow I'll be making love to some sweet girl under the moonlight with the sound of the surf in the background (hey Chick, didn't you say something about wanting to go back to the beach?). But, realistically, I'll settle for a little cuddling under the stars with my wife. Have a good one.

2005-09-01T21:03:00.000-04:00

The other day I stopped at a nice little deli that had some tables and chairs out on the sidewalk. I went inside and was standing in line at the counter when a very pretty young girl walked in the door and caught my eye. After placing my order I walked over to the soda fountain, filled my cup, and then glanced over at the girl who was now standing in line. She was the picture of beauty in a very sweet sort of way. A perfect angel, if you will. I looked away, but then looked back a moment later to see her looking at me. Our eyes locked and we both smiled at each other.

Moments later they called my name for my sandwich. I picked it up, went outside, found a table, and proceeded to slowly eat my sandwich while trying to familiarize myself with the intricacies of a new cell phone I had only just gotten the day before. It is a camera phone, and I was just starting to play around with learning the camera settings when the girl walked out of the shop and into my field of view. She stood there on the sidewalk looking up and down the street, presumably waiting for someone who was coming to pick her up.

It was about this time that I finally figured out how to turn on the phone's camera feature, and I looked at the girl who was maybe ten paces away from me, and looked down at the phone and saw that she was perfectly framed in the display. It was just too easy to press the button and...

Click.

I had a picture of her.

Curiously, almost immediately after I took the pic, she turned around, saw me sitting at the table, and walked over to where I was sitting. And she stopped...standing a few feet from my table...looking right at me.

Could she know that I had just taken her picture? No, no way. She wasn't even looking at me when I pressed the button, and the clicking sound was so quiet that it was completely inaudible out here on the sidewalk with all the noise and cars passing by. So I continued to play with the phone and tried to pretend that I didn't notice her standing there looking at me.

But what happened next freaked me out.

I could have sworn that she posed for me.

She stood there facing me with her back to the street, only a few feet away from me, looking directly into the lens on the phone--and smiled. I froze. I couldn't look at her. So I continued to look at her image in the phone instead. And waited. Waited for her to turn and walk away. But she didn't move. She just stood there. I waited some more, gathered up some nerve, and then...

Click. Photo #2.

And no sooner had I taken the pic, then she turned to her side, showing a profile of her sweet young body, with her head cocked to the side, still looking directly at the phone.

Click.

And she turned again. This time facing me with her shoulders back, jutting her chest out a little, with her hands on her hips.

By this time, my heart was beating noticeably harder. What was going on here? It had to be just a weird coincidence, right? Why would a beautiful strange girl walk right up to me and pose for me to take pictures of her without the two of us ever exchanging any words?

Click.

And finally I just couldn't take it any longer. I lost my nerve. I closed the phone, slipped it into my pocket, and proceeded to finish off the rest of my sandwich. Still staring at the table. Not daring to look up at her.

But she didn't move. She continued to stand there, a few feet away from me, looking in my direction. Until eventually, I forced myself to look up at her. And there she was looking directly at me. I smiled a curious smile at her. And she smiled back. And we stayed like that for a couple seconds. Staring into each others eyes. And then she turned and walked off. Moments later a car pulled up and she got in. The car drove off. And she was gone.

Did that really happen? Did I really snap four pictures of her?

I did. I have the pics to prove it. And in each pic except the first she is looking right into the camera. And if you didn't know otherwise you would assume that she was someone I knew...posing...plain as day...for me to take her picture.

Weird.

2005-09-01T08:30:00.000-04:00

There's something about an outdoor neighborhood hot tub at night isn't there? A place where you just sit around and chat. Or don't chat. And steal glances and smiles at other people who, for all practical purposes, are dressed in not much more than their underwear. Could there be a better way to meet people and socialize? I'm thinking no. Happy HNT.

2005-08-31T17:09:00.000-04:00

I'm bored at work today, so I think I'll pass some time by answering Chick's 56 questions...

UNIQUE

1. Nervous habits - Jingling my keys in my pocket. I have to take them out and put them on the table if I'm giving a talk.
2. Are you double jointed - No
3. Can you roll your tongue - No
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time - Sort of. I have to close the other eye first.
5. Can you blow spit bubbles - I can make one in my mouth but I can't launch it.
6. Can you cross your eyes - Yes
7. Tattoos - No. But I wouldn't be against getting one. Probably on my arm.
8. Piercing - No
9. Do you make your bed daily - I did when I was single, but my wife always sleeps later than me, so...no...not any more.

CLOTHES

10. Which shoe goes on first - Right...I think.
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? - No
12. On the average, how much money do you carry - About $50. I try to use my credit card for most things (and I always pay the full balance each month).
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7 - Just my wedding ring. Years ago I used to wear a silver chain around my neck and another on my wrist.
14. Favorite piece of clothing - Right now? A new shirt I just got from Land's End. But ask me next month and I'll give you a different answer.

FOOD

15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it - Twirl. But I cut it up for my 2-year-old son.
16. Have you ever eaten Spam - I don't think so. I would know if I had, right?
17. Do you use extra salt on your food - Once in a while.
18. How many cereals in your cabinet - Five right now. Grape Nuts, Granola, Cinnamon Frosted Shredded Wheat, Some organic cereal that tastes like Life, and Uncle Sam. But my tastes change all the time, so next month you'll see a completely different line-up.
19. What's your favorite beverage - Iced tea.
20. What's your favorite fast food restaurant - I don't really eat true fast food. But if you're willing to consider pseudo-fast food, mom & pop style, I'll tell you that I love Ben's Chili Bowl, Five Guys, and Island Burgers and Shakes.
21. Do you cook - I used to cook. A lot. My previous girlfriend's Dad taught me how. He was the best cook I've ever known. But my wife has been learning to cook recently, so I've kinda backed off a bit.

GROOMING

22. How often do you brush your teeth - At least three times a day.
23. Hair drying method - Air dry
24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair - No

MANNERS

25. Do you swear - If I'm with the right group of people. My wife thinks I don't.
26. Do you ever spit - No

FAVORITE

27. Animal - In the wild: birds, At home: dogs--except that I don't have a dog right now.
28. Food - Anything except monkey brains. And mushrooms.
29. Month - October
30. Day - Thursday...lately.
31. Cartoon - Dilbert
32. Shoe brand - Hmmm. I don't think I have a favorite brand. But I love my Chucks and my Kenneth Cole oxfords.
33. Subject in school - I liked art and computer science equally, although that probably had more to do with the teachers than anything else.
34. Color - Blue
35. Sport - Baseball--except that I will only watch it in a stadium. Never on TV. And don't bother asking me to play it. Really. Don't.
36. TV shows - I don't watch TV regularly anymore. The last show I used to watch was CSI at my friend's house on Thursdays with his awesome home-brewed beer, some crackers, and some cheese-whiz.
37. Thing to do in the spring - Sit on the banks of a brook and toss pebbles in the water with my daughter.
38. Thing to do in the summer - Swimming in the ocean
39. Thing to do in the autumn - Hiking in the mountains
40. Thing to do in the winter - Making love on a rug in front of the fireplace with the snow coming down outside. (OK, so I've never done that...but it sounds like fun. Any volunteers?)

IN AND AROUND

41. In the CD player - Devo
42. Person you talk most on the phone with - My wife, but mostly just for those "honey, could you pick up some milk on the way home?" kind of conversations. I think I need some people to talk to during my afternoon commute.
43. Reading - Chernow's Alexander Hamilton. I've been reading about a chapter a month for a year now, in between reading other books.
44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows/mirrors - Once in a while
45. What color is your bedroom - white
46. Do you use an alarm clock - No. I get up when I'm good and ready. Unless, of course, my kids wake me up first.
47. Window seat or aisle - Window for a short flight, aisle if more than a couple hours.

DUMB

48. What's your sleeping position - I like to go to sleep on my stomach, but that does all sorts of horrible things to my neck, so I try to sleep on my side instead.
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket - Yes. You have to if you're gonna sleep naked.
50. Do you snore - I don't think so.
51. Do you sleepwalk - No, but my sister and my daughter do.
52. Do you talk in your sleep - Not that I know of.
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals - No, but my wife does. So technically there is one in the bed.
54. How about with the light on - No. But moonlight is OK.
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on - No. There's no TV in the bedroom anyway.
56. Last interesting person you met - The bum on the street, downtown, at 1am, with the Jamaican accent, who swears he lives out in one of the swank suburbs and needs some money to get home because the police impounded his Mercedes. Funny thing--he has the same damn story every time I see him. He needs to mix it up a bit. But he makes for good conversation if you need to kill 15 minutes in between band sets.

2005-08-27T12:17:00.000-04:00

Late yesterday afternoon I was in the office and should have been working, but the weekend bug had already bitten me and I couldn't bring myself to start anything new. So instead I came up with this fantasy. I do believe it's the first fantasy I've ever written that is about my wife. -KT

It is a Friday evening towards the end of the summer, and your sister, her husband, and their daughter are here for a visit. Earlier in the evening we all went out to eat, but now we're back at the house and we've just finished putting the kids to bed. Your sister announces that she and her husband are tired and are gonna head off to bed soon, and you're in the study catching up on your email for the week, so I decide that maybe this would be a good time to head out to the pool for a quick swim.

"I'll see ya later, honey...I'm gonna run out to the pool for a bit," I say, popping my head in through the doorway of the study.

"Oh, OK. Have a good time. How long are you gonna be?" you ask.

"They close at 10, so I should be back by 10:15 or so. Wanna join me? It's not every day that we've got someone staying with us who can watch the kids. And they're asleep anyway."

"Um...Well...That is a good point," you say, "But I've got a lot to do here."

"But we won't be gone long. Remember, they close at 10," I say. "Come on. You're coming. Grab your bathing suit and a towel." I walk over to you and grab your hand and start tugging. "Come on, come on. No excuses. You know you'll enjoy the workout. And the pool won't be very crowded this time of night, especially on a Friday."

"Hmmm. Oh, alright. I guess. Let me go tell my sister."

You tell your sister where we'll be, grab your bathing suit and a towel, and put on your flip-flops. Ten minutes later we're standing at the edge of the pool, having changed and stored our stuff on one of the poolside lounge chairs. I slip in to the pool at the end, but as usual, you decide to walk over to the stairs and go in slowly, one inch at a time, starting with your big toe.

"It's cold!" you call out, pulling your toe back out of the water.

"Don't listen to your toe," I say, "You have to jump in all at once."

But no, you insist on continuing the slow, sacrificial ritual of inching yourself in bit by bit. Chuckling to myself, I decide I can't wait for this to play out, so I pick a lane and begin to swim. The pool looks totally different at night than by day. The pool itself is lit underwater, but there are very few lights outside of the pool, so the few people out on the deck are mostly in shadows, lit up by the indirect glow of the pool from the underwater lamps. The ripples on the surface make it hard to clearly discern whatever is underwater, but with goggles on everything under the surface is crystal clear. And with my face underwater I can see easily from one end of the pool to the other. There are only five other people in the pool. Three people swimming laps, and one older couple standing in the shallow water near one of the corners, talking to each other.

Eventually, though, I begin to tune everything out as I swim, watching only the black line on the floor of the pool as I make my way back and forth with each lap. Swimming can mesmerize you, especially at night when there is nothing to see up above. And before long, I am lost in my thoughts, only vaguely conscious of the sound and sight of my hands and arms as they draw bubbles into the water and propel me forward with each subsequent stroke.

Until, suddenly something catches my eye and I look over to my right. It's you. You've finally made it into the pool, and looking at your body in your swimsuit underwater I realize how perfect you look. Your slender figure and your small, but perfectly-shaped curves draw me in like the firm, young bodies of the teenage girls who are here in the daytime. But unlike them, you are mine, and that makes all the difference. I feel a tingling sensation between my legs that begins to radiate out to the rest of my body. I dispense with my laps and quietly make my way over to you, keeping my face underwater, enchanted by the beauty of your form.

Only when I get within a foot or two of you do I lift my head up out of the water, and, smiling at you I slip my hands around your waist and pull you close.

"You finally made it in," I say, "Still cold?"

"Mmmm, " you murmur, as our wet bodies press together, "I was, but this is much better." And you reach up and clasp your hands around the back of my neck. Your head is still dry, and I touch the tip of my wet nose to yours, and you giggle as a little stream of water trickles off of me and onto your face. I lean in and give you a little kiss on the lips--wet again--and you giggle some more. And then, as I slide my leg in between yours and pull you even tighter against me, you can plainly feel my arousal against your tummy. "Hey silly," you chide, "I need to get some swimming in before they close, you know."

"Hmmm. I suppose so," I grumble good-naturedly. I release my hold on you but keep my hands where they are, letting them slide across your body as you pull away with a smile.

For the next twenty minutes or so we swim laps in adjacent lanes, but this time I don't really lose myself in the swimming, because your sweet body is just too distracting. And so I make my way back and forth, glancing to the side, underwater, each time we pass each other--getting a workout, to be sure, but in a mild state of arousal the whole time, nonetheless.

Eventually, we stop to take a breather, and, checking my watch, I notice that it's five minutes to 10, and the pool will be closing soon. So once again I slide over to you, this time pressing you back against the wall of the pool with your arms out at your sides and my hands pinning your wrists to the concrete lip at the water's edge. You've been swimming hard, and I can see your chest rising and falling as you catch your breath. I lean down and place my lips firmly on yours, kissing you softly at first and then harder. You kiss me back for a few moments but then twist your head to the side and gasp for a little more air as you are still catching your breath from your workout. Eventually, though, you turn your head back towards me and we continue our kiss. Pulling your hands free from my grasp, you reach up and put them around my neck again, and I reach down under the water and place my hands on your hips.

As we continue to kiss, my hands begin to wander a bit, knowing that no one can really see what's going on under the water--except the two remaining people who are still in the pool doing laps, but I don't think they're really looking anyway. I slide my hands around behind you and squeeze your butt for a moment or two and then slide them up to your sides and eventually up higher until they are cupping your firm little breasts just below the surface of the water. Our kisses are getting deeper now as our tongues tease each other. And your breathing, which had been slowing down, now begins to speed up again. And then, with my left hand still lovingly caressing your right breast, I slowly slide my right hand downward, making circles on your tummy. And then lower. Lower. Until I'm pressing it lightly against the very top of your pubic mound and I can hear you gasp a little, and I can feel you spreading your legs ever so slightly.

But just then the lifegaurd startles us by calling out, "We're closing up for the night," from his perch up on the lifegaurd chair, and we pull slightly away from each other--realizing that we will have to continue this somewhere else.

To be continued...

2005-08-24T20:41:00.000-04:00

Playing around a little with some image-altering effects for today's Half-Nekkid Thursday...This is me lying in bed in the morning. Morning is often the most arousing time of the day for me, especially if I wake up before anyone else and I can just lie there, gently stroking my morning wood, peacefully drifting in and out of sleep, thinking erotic thoughts about a sweet girl. Sometimes I feel like I could stay that way for hours. But eventually, inevitably, the rest of the world interrupts and reminds me that I have responsibilities and obligations. Silly world.

2005-08-23T13:45:00.000-04:00

There has been a whole slew of new pseudo-fast-food Mexican chain restaurants that have opened up around here in the last few years. First there was Baja Fresh. Then Chipotle. Then Moe's. All these restaurants seem to be cashing in on a similar theme: you order at the counter and they make your burrito or taco or whatever from fresh ingredients while you wait (and yes, somehow that IS different from Taco Bell). But they each have their own uniquely-identifying traits too. And now, in just the past week, yet another clone has opened up across the street from where I work. It's called Tijuana Flats. So a group of us guys at work all decided to go check it out the other day and see if we could figure out the difference that supposedly sets it apart from the others.

So after we got our food and were sitting around the table eating, someone piped up with this piece of wisdom, "I know what makes this place unique. They must be paying twice the hourly wage to their employees compared to the other places."

And I'm thinking he's right. Because what he was subtly referring to was that every single employee in the place was an incredibly-beautiful young woman--to the point where you would swear they must have contracted with a modelling agency to staff the place. Honestly, I have no recollection of what I ate when I was there, but I can tell you everything you ever wanted to know (and then some, I'm sure) about the sweet smile, perfect breasts, cute belly-button, and fine tight ass on the little hottie who kept coming over to our table to refill my drink. And they were all that way. Every last one of them.

So if that's their tactic, I think it's working. Because we all agreed that we'll be going to Tijuana Flats a lot from now on.

Now if only I could remember what I ate.

2005-08-21T21:07:00.000-04:00

Have you ever done it in the back seat of a minivan? Well I have. But I can only say that because of this past Friday.

I got home from work and the babysitter was already there and my wife was making dinner for the kids. I finished making dinner while my wife took a quick shower and got dressed, and then we left and headed out to a nice romantic restaurant with a beautiful view of the lake.

She looked so pretty at dinner that I leaned across the table and kissed her, making her smile that sweet smile that I've always loved. And then after dinner as we were walking down the sidewalk I took her in my arms and kissed her again. As we were kissing we heard a group of people coming down the sidewalk and she began to pull away. But I pulled her closer and continued to kiss her passionately as the group of people walked around us and disappeared down the sidewalk.

Eventually we made our way back to the minivan and started driving home. But as we got to our neighborhood she said we were still a bit early, the babysitter wouldn't be expecting us yet, and maybe we should just park for a bit and continue where we had left off back there on the sidewalk.

To make a long story short, before long we were in the back seat together, her tank top and bra were somewhere else and she was cumming with my hand between her legs and my mouth sucking on her right nipple.

I was against buying the minivan. I'm a big fan of cool cars. And cool the minivan is not. But now I'm thinking maybe it's not quite so bad after all. You just have to be creative about the way you use it.

2005-08-19T17:15:00.000-04:00

[Update: She just called to say she's lined up a babysitter for tonight and we're going out on a date. I hope this means what I think it means...]

2005-08-19T16:44:00.000-04:00

I have not had any kind of sexual activity for two weeks now, and my wife is taking the kids out of town for a few days starting tomorrow. In other words, she is leaving her frustrated, sexually-starved husband home alone and free to roam the city on a Saturday night. Does that sound like a good plan? Hell yes, it does! OK, so I'm kidding. Sort of. But still, let me tell you, if no lovemaking happens tonight I am going to be so fired up for a woman's touch that I can't guarantee what will happen.

2005-08-18T08:17:00.000-04:00

Returning to work after picking up a nice cold iced tea at Starbucks the other afternoon I decided it was just a bit too nice outside to go right back into the office, so I parked the car under a tree, rolled down all the windows, put on some good music, kicked my shoes off, and spent a few relaxing minutes sipping my tea and enjoying the soft late-summer breeze. And then I thought, hmmm...not a bad idea for Half-Nekkid Thursday.

2005-08-17T13:29:00.000-04:00

So I've been doing a lot more swimming lately because it's just been too damn hot to bike to work every day and, wow, I gotta say that swimming has some great benefits in addition to the obvious full-body workout that you get. Specifically, hot young lifegaurds in their little Speedo "lifegaurd" two piece bathing suits. Not to mention the plethora of other pool-going cuties. Last night I shared a lap lane with a little honey in a bikini, and all I can say is thank God for swimming goggles. I've discovered that there's a lot more to see underwater than the lane line that's painted on the floor of the pool.

2005-08-15T17:18:00.000-04:00

Generally, if I see a girl I like, my first step is to try and make eye contact with her. If that works, I will smile at her. And if she smiles back, I'll say hi. And if she says hi back, I know the hard part is behind me and I can proceed to chat and flirt with her. But girls can be so shy sometimes--to the point where just getting past the smiling stage can be agonizingly difficult. A good example happened this past weekend at the grocery store.

I was in the produce section when I happened to notice a very pretty girl, probably in her twenties, who was very much dressed for the hot summer day that it was. Not slutty--just extremely alluring. She was with an older lady who I'm guessing was probably her mom. It was very hard to keep my eyes off of the younger one, given her obvious natural beauty combined with her warm-weather shortage of clothing, but I did my very best to be subtle. During the course of making my way through the store, up and down the aisles, I passed her several times, glancing briefly at her each time, and each time she would look back at me for just a split second with the faintest hint of a little smile--but no more--never allowing me to get to the point where I felt I could drop a quick "hi" in her direction.

So by the time I got to the checkout I had pretty much given up on her when, wouldn't you know it, she and her mom pulled up behind me with their cart. Coincidence? I wonder. But alas, she still could not bring herself to look directly at me (although she seemed very interested in my two-year-old son who was shamelessly smiling and making all kinds of eyes at her).

So then finally, I was out in the parking lot getting my son strapped into his car seat and loading the groceries into the back when I noticed the two of them again. This time they were in their car and were pulling out of the parking lot. But then they stopped, backed up, and pulled over next to me. The mom, who was driving, rolled down her window and told me how much she loved my car (it's an antique) and how she and her husband had had the same car years ago when their daughter was just a baby. And all of a sudden, as if some spell had been broken, her daughter was all smiles at me, craning to see around her mother, looking me right in the eye, telling me how much she loved my car too, asking the year, make, and model, and generally being all kinds of flirty and friendly.

But of course at that point it was a little too late. There's no way I'm gonna do any serious flirting with a girl through the driver's window of a car while her mom sits in between us in the driver's seat with the engine idling.

Oh well. At least she provided me with some nice fantasy material when I got home.

2005-08-11T00:44:00.000-04:00

I just got back from a kick-ass New York Dolls show at the 9:30 Club and realized two things. 1) My wife was not gonna let me into the bed until I took a nice warm soapy shower, and 2) It's Half-Nekkid Thursday already and I don't have a pic. So I decided to kill two birds with one stone. Pretty efficient of me, huh?

2005-08-05T06:51:00.000-04:00

Ever heard of a Make-Out Party?

The premise seems simple. You show up, you meet people, you make out.

And as if that alone isn't reason enough to go, they also have five bands playing throughout the night, all for a cover charge of only $6 ($4 if you bring a mix CD for the CD swap that they're having at some point during the night).

Word on the street is that it's a pretty even mix of 20/30-something guys and girls.

So what are you doing on Saturday night?

2005-08-04T07:26:00.000-04:00

For today's Half-Nekkid Thursday you get a picture of me that I took early yesterday morning in the dingy, 30-year-old changing room of one of the neighborhood pools right before I had a wonderfully-invigorating swim. It's nice going to the pool before work because I have the pool almost all to myself. There was one pretty young thing who showed up just as I was leaving and went straight for the hot tub. I would have joined her for a few minutes, but I was already pressed for time as it was. Maybe next time. Funny thing...I only just now realized that the yellow stripe on the back of my swimsuit is a Nike swoosh.

2005-08-03T09:51:00.000-04:00

There's this bisexual guy friend of mine that I hang out with once in a while--usually in a group, but once in a while it's just him and me. He gets a kick out of trying to find girls for me to hook up with, and this past weekend he went to a concert with me and he told me he would not let me leave the place until I went up and said hi to this one cutie.

But sometimes he'll get in this mood where he's trying to hit on me, as you can see from this email exchange:

bisexual guy: You were so fucking hot at that concert on Friday

me: Dude, we really need to get you a guy so you'll be able to take your mind off me.

bisexual guy: Please, Please dont let me scare you off. I am totally ok with never being able to please you, but, I love telling you how hot you are because its just the plain truth. I honestly think that you are one of the hottest guys Ive EVER met in my life. Its kind of hard not to think of you that way. You can take it two ways..get mad and stop talking to me or just take it as a compliment. I hope you allow me to compliment and allow me to flatter you. A guy can always dream right? I was so fucking hard when you would adjust yourself in the car the other night. It must be nice being you :)

...and I'm thinking...do I really need this kind of flattery?

2005-08-01T21:31:00.000-04:00

For the first time I actually met a fellow blogger this past weekend. Kayten was in town on a business trip, and at first we thought our schedules were not going to match up, but then late in the afternoon on Friday she sent me an email and I ended up stopping briefly at her hotel on my way to a concert. We met in the hotel bar and chatted for a while. It was nice to finally put a face to all those posts on her site, as well as to put those sexy HNT pics together into a complete girl. Unfortunately, after not much more than 30 minutes together I had to hustle out of there to go pick up a friend who was waiting for me so we could head over to the concert. So it was short, but sweet, and Kayten even expensed my drink to her company (a business expense?). Anyway, thanks Kayten. It was fun.

2005-07-29T19:20:00.000-04:00

I've never met her, but I think about her a lot. I've never heard her voice, but the lovely words she writes to me always add a few extra rays of sunshine to my day. When I sense that she feels down, I feel sad. And when she tells me that something nice happened to her, I feel elated. I love the way her mind works, the way she thinks, the things that are important to her. And in my dreams the beautiful way she kisses me and the electrifying touch of her body against mine make me melt. And I imagine what it would be like if things were different. If we lived close enough to meet in person. If she were mine and not someone else's. If I could have her in my arms right now. And I like listening to the music she has sent me because, somehow, listening to something that I know she loves makes me feel like she's not quite so far away. And I wonder if the people around me notice how often I listen to that same music.

2005-07-28T07:17:00.000-04:00

For today's Half-Nekkid Thursday I took a picture of my hand. To the left of the pic you can see a scar that runs about a third of the way across my wrist. It's from an operation I had about five years ago. After the operation my hand was in a cast for four weeks, and wouldn't you know it, those four weeks happened to be right in the middle of the time we had planned to try and have a baby. Ever tried to have sex with a cast on your hand? It's not easy. Especially when you can't put any weight on it, and you're supposed to keep it elevated, and your wife doesn't like being on top. So we had to come up with all sorts of creative ways to make love, most of which involved me standing and my wife propped up in some fashion so her pussy was lined up with my cock. Frankly, it was a lot of fun. At least, that's how I remember it. My wife seems to recall some less-than-flattering contortions on her part with her face buried in the bed and her ass in the air, but we both agree there were some funny moments. To this day we joke about it, wondering if we'll ever tell our daughter some of the goofy things we had to try to get her conceived.

[You can click on the pic for a closeup.]

2005-07-26T14:43:00.000-04:00

The temperature just hit 100 degrees. What is this? Phoenix, Arizona? Actually, no, it's not Phoenix because it's also miserably humid with a heat index of something like 115. Anyway, as I was walking through the lobby of the building around noon today, I saw the little cutie that I've had my eyes on for months now. And she was wearing a long winter coat. She does that a lot. Apparently she has trouble staying warm in the AC. I suppose I would too if I weighed all of 100lbs. But then she said she'd be taking the coat off as soon as she got outside. Which, sure enough, she did, as we stepped through the door and out to the sweltering heat of the parking lot. And I was treated to a fantastic, mesmerizing view of her little body in a tight, pink, baby-doll shirt. But as we walked out to where the cars were it occurred to me that I hadn't intended to come out to the parking lot at all. In fact, I had been heading to the lunchroom where my coworker was waiting for me. How I ended up in the parking lot is beyond me. Something must have distracted me.

2005-07-25T08:18:00.000-04:00

The year of cunnilingus is more than half over and so far I haven't gotten squat. I was reminded of it by this girl with whom I seem to have a lot in common. Those of you who've read me for a while will recall that my wife is weirded out by the idea of me putting my mouth down there. However, some very recent conversations I've had with her (including last night) have led me to believe that it might not be totally out of the question. And in fact, last night she actually let me kiss her down there, which is a marked improvement over...nothing. So we'll see. I've got less than six months.

2005-07-21T23:38:00.000-04:00

Is it Half-Nekkid Thursday already? I'm sneaking in just under the wire today. I've been unusually disorganized this week, probably on account of being sick. And being sick also meant that I haven't been riding my bike to work. Which, in turn, meant that I had not been able to try out the brand new Pearl Izumi bike shorts I bought last week. But today I felt better and decided to celebrate by riding to work AND wearing the new shorts. They were not cheap, mind you, but they claim to be made of "superior moisture-transfer fabrics" with "extra padding in key areas" and specially-designed seams to "eliminate potential chafing." Sounds good to me. And during my 30 mile round-trip today I can tell you that I was quite comfortable. In fact, I made the trip in record time--a feat I'm going to credit to the shorts (why not, right? For the price they darn well ought to get me to work quicker and in comfortable bliss). The only thing that bugged me about these new shorts is that they are extremely slippery such that my ass kept threatening to slide right off the seat as if it was, uh, lubed up...or something. Eventually, I got the hang of it, though, and then all was good.

So Chick, how about we go bike-riding together? I'll wear my new shorts and you can wear your new sports bra. After all, you might need someone around to help you take it off after the ride, right?

2005-07-14T07:35:00.000-04:00

Hmmm. So it seems I've been coerced into participating in Half-Nekkid Thursday. There's no real story here other than a belated patriotic post for the 4th of July and a very late entry into Pink's boxers collection. Oh, and if you're curious what that little bottle with the blue cap is used for, you can find out here.

2005-07-13T22:18:00.000-04:00

Thirty-one comments to my previous post. Good Lord, is that a record?

2005-07-09T07:26:00.000-04:00

I think an affair, if done right, could be very good for me and my marriage.

My wife is simply not a very sexual person. After 11 years with her, countless conversations, professional therapy, etc., I think I know her well enough to know that she just doesn't enjoy the kind of wild, frequent sex that I would like to have. She does not masturbate. It just doesn't interest her. She loves to be cuddled and kissed tenderly, and once in a while, maybe one or two times a month, she likes me to massage her pussy to orgasm.

Other than that, sex is something that we do only because I request it. If it was totally up to her, she would be the happiest woman in the world simply knowing that I will always be there for her, that I will be a good father to our kids, that I will give her a hug when she's feeling down, and that I will hold her in my arms for a while in bed at night.

For years this has made me angry. I often resent her for ruining my sex life. And that resentment has taken a constant toll on our marriage. I try to change her. I look at her lying there peacefully in bed and I get angry because I want to fuck her deep inside, lick and kiss her all over her body, and cum in her face. Maybe someday her hormones will change and she'll start to like that stuff, but I can't make it happen, nor can I depend on it happening anytime soon, if ever.

And so lately I've been thinking that a passionate affair with another girl who has the same issues with her husband that I have with my wife would actually be a good thing for my marriage. I would no longer feel angry that my wife won't do those things. I would no longer feel like life is passing me by and it's my wife's fault. I would stop feeling like I have to change her in order for me to be happy. I could hold her and kiss her and love her and be there for her in the way she needs and wants without constantly pressuring her to do stuff that she doesn't want to do.

I could see myself truly loving my wife if the pressure for sex was no longer an issue.

I know some of you totally disagree with this. And that's OK. You're entitled to your opinions, and I'm sure you'll let me know it. Many of you think I should ask for a separation or an open marriage. But I know her and I know that both of those things would destroy her. Many of you also feel that I should continue to talk with her and work with her in an effort to improve our sex lives. But after all these years I think I know her better than anyone and I know that, no matter what kind of incremental changes we might be able to make, she will never be able to truly satisfy me in bed. Some of you feel I should just suck it up and deal with the lack of sex as something that goes along with the "for better or worse" part of our marriage vows.

Many of you have told me that if I have an affair my kids will know something is wrong and they will grow up psychologically damaged. I disagree, though. I think I could show a lot more true love for my wife and that our home would actually be a happier place if I could separate the stress of not having sex from the otherwise good things in our marriage. I would love to be able to look at my wife tenderly and lovingly and know that we are both happy because we are both getting what we need out of our lives, even if we're not getting all of it from each other.

It's a lot to expect that one person could possibly provide everything you need in life. And I think that, perhaps, the institution of marriage places too much of an emphasis on this nearly impossible task.

At least that's what I'm thinking this morning.

2005-06-30T21:25:00.000-04:00

There's a new shopping center going up just down the road from where I work. This is notable because I work way out in the country and up until now there has literally been nothing nearby for miles around. Last week I stopped in at the new shopping center, but nothing was open yet, and much of it was still under construction.

But today I happened to stop by on the way home from work and noticed that the Starbucks was open, so I went in to get something to drink. I was the only customer in the whole place. Can you believe that? A totally empty Starbucks at 7pm on a Thursday evening during rush hour. But of course it is brand new and nobody (except me, apparently) knows about it yet.

The two girls behind the counter were obviously very glad to see someone, and they were very talkative and friendly. Especially the cute redhead at the register with the freckles and the beautiful smile. So I stayed for a few minutes and talked to her.

Tomorrow I plan on riding my bicycle to work, but I'm thinking I could still stop in for a few minutes after work to get an iced tea and chat with her again, even if I'm gonna be wearing bike cleats, bike shorts, and carrying a helmet in my hand. After all, who's gonna care, right? I'll be the only customer.

I'm thinking this is the perfect opportunity to get to know her. And then months from now when she recognizes me each time I come in we can laugh and talk about how we met back when I was the only customer.

2005-06-28T21:34:00.000-04:00

I posted an ad on craigslist not too long ago, and for some reason it has generated quite a few responses from people who have no interest in getting together with me. Here's a sampling of what I've received:

One guy wrote:
hey, there's no need to have an affair on the side. I'm jealous... I wish I had a long term, live-in relationship, wife AND KIDS! I love kids. Of course, right now I haven't met anyone to do that with.

If I were in your position, I'd go to the country, have sex outside where someone "might" see you? Take a weekend, or even a week away from your kids. Try some new kinds of sexual activites... explore some.... try new experiences.... it'll probably liven up sex with her. Play rough, have her take control, etc....

Another guy wrote:
nice job with the post... if it works, you will be a god to the rest of us married men in exactly the same situation. Copyright that bad boy before it finds its way to personals across the country.

And then a girl wrote:
You are not going to want to hear this, but why don't you go plan a romantic weekend for her next weekend? Why not surprise her with flowers tonight or ask her to take a long romantic walk together holding hands?

My fiancee just left me 2 weeks ago for the same reason, but he never tried. I am heartbroken and he won't come back. He cheated on me here on CL and it devestated me. Think about what it would do to her if she finds out.

They all have good points. Quite frankly, I'm finding that it's relatively easy to find a girl who will fuck me. But it does me no good because that's not what I want. I want someone I can really connect with on more than just a sexual level. But finding a girl like that who also happens to live nearby and who actually has the time to get together with me is proving to be incredibly difficult. So working on improving things with my wife is starting to look more and more like a better option all the time.

That doesn't mean I'm giving up on meeting other girls. It just means I'm not giving up on my wife quite yet. She's still the one I'd really rather be with, if I could just get her to notice me.

2005-06-23T07:00:00.000-04:00

This past weekend I went to a party at a friend's house. He has a cool, restored, bachelor-pad, condo in the city in an old building in a very hip neighborhood. He knows tons of people. And his parties, of which I have been to quite a few over the years, are always a good time. Twice I asked my wife if she wanted to go to the party with me, thinking it would be good for us to spend the evening in a fun setting, flirting with each other and generally having a good time together. But as expected she declined and I ended up having to go by myself. So about halfway through the evening this hot, young, high-school english teacher came up to me and complimented my shirt. I recognized her from the last party, and she said she recognized me too. And then she proceeded to stick by my side and chat with me for the entire rest of the evening. And then when I told her I had to leave she gave me a big hug, pressing her deliciously-tight body very firmly against me. Although I was bummed that my wife refused to go with me, I have to say I wasn't exactly feeling lonely for a change.

2005-06-22T07:00:00.000-04:00

A girl came up to me yesterday morning at the bus stop and told me I look just like Clay Aiken. I guess there is a bit of a resemblance, but I'm not sure how to get my hair to stand up like that.

2005-06-21T00:03:00.000-04:00

I'm not the kind of person who shares a lot of my feelings with people. Blogging has helped a little because it's one of the few "safe" places where I feel I can talk about stuff without having it come back to haunt me. I wasn't always like this. As a little boy I think I used to be very open about my emotions and my feelings. But over time my crazy mother eventually taught me to keep my feelings inside by ridiculing me whenever I said something that sounded "stupid" to her or whenever I would do something funny that might embarrass her in public. In elementary school I was always the class clown--an open, fun-loving, little boy who delighted in doing things to make people laugh. But by high school I had turned into a serious, quiet, reserved, young man who rarely expressed himself outside of a small circle of very close friends. One of my best friends and roommate all through college often jokes with me about how I share so little with people that he didn't even know my wife was pregnant until he asked me one day when we were going to have kids and I said, "In about 8 weeks," because that's when my daughter was due to be born. In my own young son I see some of the childhood jokester that I used to be. And I see the way he shares his feelings and emotions so openly. And I wonder how long that will last. When I got married I thought I would try to start fresh on a clean slate, so I began opening myself up to my wife, forcing myself to tell her things that I normally would not have told anyone. But I soon found out that even she had a habit of using those things against me later on. So eventually I stopped sharing my secrets with her. People like me don't want to keep things inside. We want to tell people how we feel. What bugs us. What delights us. What scares us. But we're so used to having to protect ourselves by keeping those thoughts hidden that we rarely ever share even the things that we want people to know. And even our best friends have to pry it out of us. I look back on this blog and, quite frankly, I'm amazed at how much I've shared. Sometimes I've backed off when comments have gotten particularly harsh, but for the most part I keep bouncing back, and I think that's a good thing. Maybe it's because I figure that because this blog is anonymous I can always just shut it down if things get out of hand. But thankfully I've never really felt like I wanted to do that. There's still a ton of stuff that I haven't shared about myself on this blog, and probably never will. But if nothing else, you all know how much I like to eat pussy--which pretty much sets you apart from anyone else I know in this world. So thanks. For listening. And for not getting on my case too often.

2005-06-20T08:23:00.000-04:00

I've said before that my blog is a good reference for me to go back and find out when was the last time I had sex. Which means I should probably tell you what happened last night, just to keep the archives accurate. Probably because it was Father's day, or maybe because it just happened to be, once again, the right time of the month for her, but regardless, for some reason my wife wore a very hot little outfit yesterday. I knew she wore it for me. And she knew I knew. And at the end of the day she climbed into bed and didn't even bother to change into something else. I had been dying to take it off of her all day anyway, and for once I wouldn't be surprised if she had been thinking the same thing too. So, starting with a massage, and working my way up with kisses and caresses in all the right places, I slowly began to strip her down. Ultimately we ended up naked except for her tight little ribbed tank top which I decided to leave on her so I could see her hard little nipples poking up against the stretchy material (I did manage to unhook her bra and slip it out from underneath). She came quickly and unexpectedly in a way that normally doesn't work for her, while my cock was sliding around, teasing her clit and the opening of her vagina. If I knew that was going to happen I would have cum all over her right then and there, but there was no warning and she came sharp and fast, so I held back. Then, a few minutes later as she was lying there recovering I took the opportunity to kneel down between her legs and take a nice, long, close-up look at her pussy. Gently nudging her lips apart with my fingers I lightly caressed and admired every little inch of that area. She has, without a doubt, the prettiest, most beautiful pussy I have ever seen, in pictures or in person, although she thinks it's goofy when I tell her that. Peering at her, my face only inches away from her sex, I wanted so much to lean down and taste every little fold of skin and run my tongue up and down alongside her clit. But I refrained because she's not into oral sex, even at the height of arousal, and at this point, while she was relaxing after her orgasm, she definitely would not have appreciated it. As it was, she eventually signaled to me that she had had enough of me examining her. So then, after a little more hugging and kissing, I eventually lay down on my back and she proceeded to lay her head on my chest and give me a hand job. That went well for a minute or so, but soon her strokes became slower and slower until eventually she stopped altogether. I couldn't see her face because of the way her head was on my chest, looking down at my cock. But I soon heard her breathing become more rhythmic, and I realized she had fallen asleep. WTF? "Uh...are you done?" I asked jokingly, nudging her a little. She startled a little and laughed, sitting up to look at me. "I guess I fell asleep," she said. "Just like a guy," I laughed, and waited, wondering if she really was done. But after a couple more minutes she roused herself and sat up, indian style, facing me, peeled the tank top off over her head, and proceeded to take up my cock where she had left off. It is one of the hottest things ever to watch her sit there like that, naked, facing me, chest out, shoulders back, while she gives me a hand job. I like to reach up and caress her perky little breasts, her slender arms and shoulders, her long hair. And before long I came all over her hand and my chest, thus finishing off yet another slightly odd and painfully rare session of lovemaking with this girl I married. Stay tuned. If I'm still writing here in another month or two, I'll tell you about the next time.

2005-06-11T10:29:00.000-04:00

My wife and kids are out of town this weekend. I called them this morning and my wife answered.

Wife: Oh, hi honey, I just got out of the shower.

KT: What are you wearing?

Wife: Just a towel.

KT: Well, take it off!

Wife: Oh...[giggles]...OK

[brief discussion about how things are going, how the kids are doing, etc.]

KT: Are you still naked?

Wife: [makes some sort of sound that I'll interpret to mean "silly husband"] Well, semi-naked.

KT: I thought you took the towel off?

Wife: Well, it's kind of chilly

KT: If I was there I'd rip it off you and hide it.

Wife: [giggles]

KT: So take it off!

Wife: OK, ok, it's off. What are you wearing?

KT: Shorts and a t-shirt. But I could take them off...

Wife: [giggles some more and makes that silly husband sound again]

[more conversation, and then we're about to hang up]

KT: Still naked?

Wife: yes [more giggles] (She's awfully giggly today, isn't she?)

KT: Mmmmm

Wife: Here's a big hug. A naked hug!

KT: MMMMmmm. I like that. Here's a hug back.

Wife: mmmmmm

[goodbyes, etc.]

I think that's about the closest I've come to sex all month. I think I'll finish it off while I'm thinking about it...

2005-06-10T02:16:00.000-04:00

There's something about a seedy punk rock club in the city in the summer on a Thursday night. The way the crowd is packed in and yet everyone is friendly and in good spirits. The familiar smell of sweat and beer and smoke. The way the guys are all decked out in leather and studs and chains. The way the girls are all decked out in leather and studs and chains. The way the singer screams the lyrics so you can't understand him and yet everyone in the audience is singing along. The way the guitarist jumps up and down and you worry that if he jumps any higher he'll hit his head on the low ceiling. The way some guy bumps into you and you feel a huge splash of his sweat douse you as if you just walked under a sprinkler. The way the bartender recognizes you and hands you your bottle of Bass Ale before you can even ask for it. The way you leave her a good tip partly because she recognized you and partly because she's so damn hot that you'd probably leave her a good tip anyway even if she didn't recognize you. The way she smiles and winks at you because she knows you always leave her a good tip. The way the girl with the fake red hair, the see-through white tank top, the black bra, and the low-rise denim capris looks so unbelieveably fuckable and yet she refuses to make eye contact with you. The way the girl leaning against the wall in the tight white t-shirt with the big black under-21 "X" stamp on her wrist keeps smiling at you every time you glance over at her. The way the girls who smile at you always seem to be the ones who are way to young for you. The way the other girl with the 1960's scientist glasses would look so hot if she just took those damn glasses off. The way she somehow looks even hotter with them on.

The way, after getting home, you look at your watch and realize it's freaking 2:16am and you better stop blogging and get the hell to bed.

2005-06-09T17:32:00.000-04:00

There is a girl I had a crush on about a year ago. An online friend. I stumbled across her blog one day and fell in love with the way she writes. Eventually we started exchanging emails. And for three short weeks we corresponded, and I found myself thinking about her a lot. It was because of her that I wrote my post on June 22nd. I wanted so much to be able to meet her in person. But for some reason I eventually stopped writing to her. It seems strange now, looking back on it, that I stopped writing to her. I think I was surprised that I had developed such strong feelings for her in such a short amount of time, and maybe I was afraid that she wouldn't be as interested in me as I was in her. I also think I was skittish about the whole thing since she was the first girl I had ever really corresponded with online. And I guess I was afraid of putting a lot of energy into something that would surely never come to fruition due to the physical distance between us. So we lost touch. But I continued to read her blog. And, apparently, she continued to read mine. And then one day this past April she wrote to me. She had watched me change from a man who was simply a little frustrated with his marriage to a man who seemed to be actively looking for an affair, and she was concerned. Concerned because, you see, she had been there, and back, and had the scars to prove it. Even so, I'm finding it hard to heed her warning. I now believe (partly because of something she told me) that it's not really sex that I crave. Nor is it love. I have both already. The sex could be better and more frequent, but it's not like we never, ever do it. And the love is there in abundance. No, it's not sex or love that I crave. It's desire. And by that I mean that I crave a relationship with a woman who really, truly desires me. A woman who lusts after me. A woman who can't wait for me to come home from work so she can jump me and wrestle me to the floor and fuck me right there in the foyer. If I had someone who felt that way about me I'm not even sure that I would need to have full-blown sex. The right kind of kissing and touching can go a long way towards soothing one's needs if it is truly fueled by lust and passion, rather than by a sense of obligation. And so lately I find myself wondering how to find this person who will lust after me with wild abandon. I'm not even sure if my wife has ever been that person, or if she could even become that person in the future. But if not my wife then who? And so I continue to search. Both within my marriage and outside of it. Looking for this elusive girl who might somehow make my life complete.

2005-06-08T14:49:00.000-04:00

So yeah, you're probably wondering what I've been up to, but unfortunately the answer is absolutely nothing. Or at least nothing that you would find interesting if you're reading a site named "Koochie Taster." Well, OK, I did masturbate in front of my wife the other day, but that, seriously, has been about it. I was hoping by now to be able to announce the commencement of my own Operation Sexy but unfortunately my wife up and left town with the kids for a week, so I'm going to have to postpone it until maybe the middle of next week at the earliest. I did give her some new clothes for her birthday last week that she looks very fetching in, though, so I don't think my part of the Operation Sexy plan will be all that difficult, not that it would ever be. It'll basically be up to her to follow through on her end of the deal, even though, of course, she will be a completely unwitting participant. But, again, that's not for at least another week or so.

Of course the other part of this whole wife-going-out-of-town-with-the-kids business is that I am now all alone and unsupervised for an entire seven days plus, and yes, that includes this coming weekend. I'm hoping I can come up with something interesting to do that will be worth posting about without landing myself in divorce court or jail, but at the moment I'm kind of drawing a blank. So if anyone wants to offer a suggestion, especially if you live around here and would be willing to "help," I'm all ears. Just make it snappy, because it's already Wednesday afternoon, and the weekend is bearing down fast.

2005-06-03T07:00:00.000-04:00

I don't remember when was the last time I held a girl in my arms and looked into her eyes and truly felt a connection with her. As if even for just a moment we are totally in agreement about everything. Not everything in the world. Just everything that matters at that moment. As if the other things don't matter. Either because they are inconsequential or because you don't know what they are yet or because you know what they are and they do matter but you just don't care because the moment right now is all that matters. I want to get back to that point. The point where it's all about us and the fact that we are together looking into each others eyes and the temperature of the room doesn't matter and whether the windows are open doesn't matter and whether people can hear us doesn't matter and whether we have to get up early tomorrow doesn't matter. And all we want to do is be with each other and find out more about each other. And we can hold each other for hours and still not want to let go. And we like everything that the other says and we like everything that we see about each other. Not that either of us is perfect and not that either of us is under the illusion that the other is perfect but just that the little inconsistencies are cute and endearing rather than annoying and nagging. And we hold each other because we are crazy about being close to each other and we want to touch each other because the urge is so strong and not because it's something that we feel like we should do because we haven't done it in a while and not because everyone says keeping a relationship going is a lot of work and you have to make an effort to keep the feeling alive. I want it to be an effort to pull away. I want it to be painful to be out of each other's sight. I want to feel butterflies in my stomach when I'm at work and she pops into my mind and I can't get anything done because all I can do is think of her and I have to get up and go outside and take a walk because I can't sit still thinking about her and how much I want to be with her and hold her and touch her hair and listen to her talk about anything or nothing because I like the sound of her voice and I like the way she thinks. And I call her on her cell phone not because I need to know whether one of us paid the credit card bill but because I just want to hear her pretty voice and she sends me an email that says something silly and makes me laugh when I'm on a conference call with some coworkers and they want to know what's so funny and I don't know what to tell them because the reason it's funny is because it came from her and she meant it to be funny and not because of any other reason that anyone else would understand.

You forget all these things as the years go by as if they never happened and then one day something unexpected happens that jogs your memory and it all comes rushing back reminding you of the way it was and you wonder if it's really just a reminder of the past or whether it could also be a reminder of what it could still be like in the future if things were somehow different.

2005-06-01T07:00:00.000-04:00

Alex has, in a mere two sentences, explained something that I have been trying to find the words to say for a year and a half now. Simply put, he said:

...I have a spouse who is sometimes incapacitated when her disease exacerbates. My love for her and sense of obligation prevents me from ever leaving her.

I can't tell you how so totally well that statement describes my own marriage. You see, it's not just sexual problems that plague our marriage. In fact, the sexual issues are but a mere side effect of a much more serious condition that affects my wife in every aspect of her life, from eating to driving a car, and everything in between.

Sometimes she becomes completely debilitated by her illness. Other times, when it goes into remission, she is able to function almost normally. Almost. I'd rather not go into much more detail, other than to say that it's not in any way life-threatening. But at least hopefully you can now get a better understanding of where I'm coming from.

Thanks, Alex.

2005-05-31T07:00:00.000-04:00

I got an email a week or so ago from an attractive young woman who apparently lives around here. She said she likes the way I think, and she wanted to know if I would be interested in having an affair with her. Way to cut to the chase, huh?

OK so I'm embellishing a little. She did say she was interested in an affair, but she managed to put it a little more eloquently than that. And since I'm becoming increasingly aware that there are a lot of unhappy married girls out there, it's not at all surprising that one of them might write such a pointed email to me.

But what did surprise me about this girl is that she said she is single.

Single?

Now what kind of attractive, young, single girl is going to be satisfied with married me? She would only be able to see me a couple times a month and even then for only a few hours at a time. I might often have to cancel at the last minute. We could rarely ever see each other during the day. Never on holidays. No company parties. No fancy hotels. No vacations together. And definitely no long-term commitment. In short, I would be the lousiest boyfriend ever.

So wrote back to her and explained all of this, to which she replied:

Mmmmm, I just think it's interesting what you think a single girl wants. I'm single for a reason. I'm looking for someone to have safe fun with sexually, someone who wants to experiment, and someone who makes me laugh. I like having sex, but I don't really want an endless string of one-night-stands. It doesn't mean I want the time commitment of a relationship, I just like to get to know people too. Does that help answer your questions? Maybe you should send me your screen name and we could chat this week...

2005-05-30T16:20:00.000-04:00

I took Friday off instead of today because we were going out of town this past weekend and we figured we'd leave a day early and come home a day early, to avoid the rush. So we got back yesterday. And here I sit. At work. On a national holiday. In a way, it's nice. The office is very quiet today. I don't mind.

Except...

As I was leaving the house this morning, I told my wife that I would be happy to call it a day and come home early if she decided she wanted to do something fun. I suggested we could take the kids to the park. Or we could fire up the grill and have a BBQ on the deck. But now it's 4:20 and she still hasn't called. I doubt if she will.

2005-05-27T08:07:00.000-04:00

The following search-engine queries have recently led people to this site:

he fucked her hard on the stable floor
bare tits under sweaters
bikini water slide
nude female
eat her pussy
red haired hotties
pussy contest
man sucking breasts
my wife's always masturbating
sat astride her face
are there any sexy or erotic ways that I can take my girlfriend?
exercising in the nude
her squeezing vaginal muscle
koochie
naked bahamas girls
wife boss bikini tease
"wife is out of town" and "sister in law"
see through when wet bathing suits
masturbating with my wife
sister swallowed cum blog
16 year old breast pics sex
small breasted girls being fucked

What I think is funny, and what I really don't get, is how on earth does a generic query like "nude female" or "man sucking breasts" land on *my* site out of all the millions of sex-related web sites out there? And what the heck is a wife boss bikini tease? Sounds kinky...and somewhat intriguing.

And since when have I ever fucked anyone on a stable floor?

I am flattered, however, that a google search for "koochie" with no other qualifiers pulls up my site as the #1 hit. Every dog has his day, no?

2005-05-26T07:33:00.000-04:00

Kim over at Private Booth reprinted one of my posts. That is way cool. Go check it out.

2005-05-25T12:58:00.000-04:00

It's 1:00 in the afternoon and my mind still keeps drifting back to last night.

I had the most beautiful, sensual, erotic chat session...ever. With a lovely reader.

She pinged me at work in the afternoon and said she had something to share with me. Something that she couldn't share at work. And she asked if she could meet me online late in the evening. From home.

The details are mine to savor...and remember. So I won't say much more. Other than...damn. Sweetheart, I think you made my heart skip a few beats last night.

2005-05-23T07:36:00.000-04:00

My wife informed me that she bid on, and won, ten hours of professional babysitting as part of a charity auction.

This is a good sign.

Ten hours of babysitting could get us three nights of dinner at a nice restaurant, two nights of dinner and a movie, or one mega-night of practically anything. Hmmm. I'm thinking hotel reservations, room service, jacuzzi...

2005-05-21T20:49:00.000-04:00

Last night one of my favorite rock clubs hosted a rare, one-night-only indie-punk dance night and I decided to go check it out. Considering I'm not usually the biggest fan of dance music, this wasn't bad at all. Plus the crowd was friendly and the, uh, scenery was un-fucking-believably hot. I danced like an idiot for two hours from 11:30pm to 1:30am and had a great old time. Because I'm sort of trying to be at least somewhat faithful to my wife, I promised myself that I wouldn't ask any girls to dance with me, but that wasn't such a big deal since there were a lot of lone people dancing and having a good time as part of the general crowd. But now I'm wondering if next time I should ask the craigslist girl if she would like to go with me.

2005-05-20T11:07:00.000-04:00

Two pretty girls caught my eye Wednesday evening.

One was walking along the side of the road with someone who was
probably her husband. I slowed down to get a better look at her,
crested a small hill, and there was a police car with a radar gun
pointed right at me. I looked down at my speedometer and realized I
was going exactly the speed limit. If I hadn't slowed down to check
out the girl, I might very well have gotten a ticket. So thanks,
little cutie, whoever you are. You made it a pleasant evening for me
in more ways than one.

The other girl was in the car to the right of me when we were both
stopped in traffic. I glanced over at her, but I don't think she
could see me. And then this guy in the car in front of her leans out
his window, looks back at her, and starts yelling something at her and
motioning with his hand for her to roll down her window. Intrigued, I
rolled down my passenger-side window to see if I could hear what he
was yelling about. And as she rolled down her window and stuck her
head out, the guy in front of her yelled at her one more time. And
this time we both heard it... "I love you!" She giggled and looked
kind of embarrassed, but there was a big smile on her face.
Obviously, they knew each other. I should remember to try that
someday if my wife and I are ever driving in separate cars.

2005-05-17T13:32:00.000-04:00

Just friends.

The first time it's a handshake and a sincere smile.

The next time it's a light touch on the elbow and a look in the eyes
that lasts a little too long.

Then it's a slightly awkward hug.

Then a more comfortable hug.

On our fifth "date" I place my hands on your shoulders as I stand
behind you, looking over your head at the beautiful vista from the top
of the mountain we have just climbed together. I move in a little
closer and lean down, brushing my face ever so slightly against your
hair. You lean back against me and I move my hands onto your bare
shoulders and then down along your arms. We stay that way for a while
and I can feel the tension. The nervousness between us. The desire.
Then, slowly, you reach back and pull my arms around you, holding them
against your chest. Both of us savoring the togetherness. Our hearts
racing.

2005-05-15T22:42:00.000-04:00

Ever wonder what I do when I'm not thinking about sex? Yeah, well, I'm gonna tell you anyway because I have nothing else better to write about. Think of it as a rare brief glimpse into the real life of KT.

By Thursday evening it had become pretty apparent that my wife had recovered from whatever illness it was that had caused her to recognize my existence on Wednesday evening. So Friday night I decided to go out and have at least a little bit of fun. I went downtown to a small club and saw a couple of local bands. The music was good, the crowd was friendly, and I had a good time. I even flirted briefly with a couple of girls who were way too young for me. I said *briefly*. Sheesh. Then around midnight I ventured into the hood for the best chili dog and cheese fries in town, and then headed back home, took a shower, and went to bed.

Saturday morning I mowed the lawn, got the week's groceries, got my wife's minivan inspected, flirted with a married and (this time) age-appropriate cutie at the gas station, added the ritual yearly springtime can of freon to the air conditioner of my old beater, and spent some time playing with my kids. Saturday evening I just stayed home and read a good book.

Sunday I stayed inside most of the day, playing with the kids and giving my bike a good thorough spring tuneup so that, hopefully, I can get back in the habit of riding it the fifteen miles to work at least a couple times a week. I'm thinking Wednesday will be the inaugural ride of the season.

And that's about it. That was my weekend, folks. Maybe I'll go read a few more pages in my book before I go to sleep.

2005-05-12T13:37:00.000-04:00

I've been telling my wife that she needs to give me some sort of a
sign if she's interested in some hanky panky because after 8 years of
rejection I'm just not very likely to make the first move anymore.

So last night we didn't get much sleep, and for once it had nothing to
do with the kids keeping us up all night.

Around 10:30 I asked her if she was going to bed soon. She said yes
but that she had to take a shower first. And, knowing how long that
can take, I decided to go downstairs and go online for a bit.
Browsing through some emails and pictures, one thing led to another
and before long my boxers somehow became unbuttoned and I had myself
some fun that required a bit of clean-up.

I then went upstairs, slipped into bed, and turned off the light. My
wife was still in the shower. A little while later, as I was just
about to fall asleep, I saw her slip into bed totally naked. Now let
me tell you, maybe that's a common occurrence in your household, but
my wife NEVER goes to bed naked. Was that a sign? Hmmm. And as I
lay there contemplating it, wondering if I should make a move, she
kicked me.

Yeah. It was a sign, alright.

So it wasn't until after midnight that we finally went to sleep.

And then, around 4am she was up again, tossing and turning. She got
up and cranked the A/C colder by a few degrees and threw off the
blanket. She tossed and turned for a few more minutes and then
reached over, grabbed my hand, and placed it between her legs.

I'm thinking that was a sign, too.

So we did it all over again.

And then afterwards, as we were lying there in an embrace, me on my
back, and she next to me with her head on my chest, I got to thinking
about how my hot, naked, unusually-horny wife was lying there cuddling
with me, and dammit, I couldn't help myself. My hand slid down
between my legs and before long I was shaking with yet another bout of
yummy ecstasy as she held me tightly in her arms.

Finally around 5:00 we fell asleep again and just barely got up in
time for me to get my daughter to preschool.

2005-05-11T17:22:00.000-04:00

My driver's license was set to expire later this month, so I went over
to the DMV this afternoon to get it renewed. I love going to the DMV
because where else do you just get to sit around for a while and look
at people who have nothing better to do but sit around and look back
at you?

So I was standing in line and there was this guy and a girl in front
of me, probably in their late 20's, and the guy had a cute little baby
boy in his arms. I was looking off in the other direction, probably
trying to find some cutie to make eyes with, when all of a sudden the
girl jumped, and when I looked back there was some sort of liquid
dripping off the baby's legs and onto the floor. Whatever it was
(drool? pee? vomit?) was all over the guy's arms too. I couldn't
help but chuckle a little because I could just see this happening to
me.

The girl ran off to the bathroom and came back with a toilet paper
roll and started blotting up the baby and the dad. I could tell they
were embarrassed (well, at least the guy and the girl were
embarrassed--the baby was clearly with me in seeing the humor of it
all). And then to make it worse (or even more funny, if you were me)
the girl dropped the toilet paper roll and it proceeded to roll all
the way across the DMV, unravelling in the process, and she had to run
after it, wadding the trail of toilet paper up in her hands.

When she returned with the huge wad of toilet paper in one hand and
the nearly-empty roll in the other hand she looked at me just as I was
in mid chuckle. I smiled at her, but she just gave me a look that I
took to mean, "I am not in the mood for flirting right now." Oh well.

What made the whole thing that much more interesting was that the girl
was so smokin' hot. Petite. Pretty, longish hair. Cute face, and an
amazing body. And her pink, very fitted, button-down shirt, tight
khaki capris, and sexy sandals didn't hurt either. Watching her hot
little body bent over, running after that toilet paper roll was just
priceless. I'm sure she hates me as the asshat who was getting a
chuckle out of her misfortune, but hey, the baby was laughing too,
right?

2005-05-04T16:41:00.000-04:00

I'm intrigued by the fact that I've been masturbating with my wife's image in mind recently. That hasn't happened in a while. Mostly because I haven't been able to come up with a good, fresh, hot image of her in my mind. But in the last few weeks I've seen her naked and aroused on several occasions. And that makes for a very nice mental picture. And if I have a picture of her in my mind, I often find it much more arousing to use that picture when I get myself off, rather than a picture of some random, unknown girl I've downloaded off the web. But any given mental image only lasts a few days--after which it must be refreshed. I remember back when we were starting to think about having children, and my wife and I were playing around in bed almost every day of the week, I almost stopped masturbating altogether. Almost. And when I did masturbate, it was invariably her image that was in my mind. I told her this when we had our discussion a few weeks ago. I wonder if it turns her on to know that I'm thinking of her in that way. She doesn't seem to like talking about it (her repressive upbringing still has a very firm hold on her) so I'm never quite sure what she's thinking, but I know it would damn well turn me on if I knew she was jilling off while thinking about me. Unfortunately I'm almost certain that she never masturbates (there's that repressive upbringing again). That's something I wish she would work on. How can you have a good sexual relationship with a girl who doesn't even have an interest in getting herself off? Sometimes she does have erotic dreams at night, but they are few and far between. Anyway, I hope this latest trend keeps up. If I go more than a few days without some lovin' from my honey, my mind starts to wander. And we all know where that can lead.

2005-05-03T10:33:00.000-04:00

Apparently there really is something magical about mulch. I never knew this. But after spending pretty much all day on Sunday hauling two massive loads of mulch home and then distributing it around the various flower beds in our yard (by myself, mind you), I was treated by my wife to a rare night of yummy naked fun. And when I say "treated" I mean that she even initiated it with absolutely no suggestion on my part--right down to the cute little Victoria's Secret thingy that she must have bought on her own because I sure don't remember buying it. Now granted, I did have to lie there in bed for about ten minutes while she worked up the nerve to make the first move. But still, once she went for it she was unstoppable. And I know I've said this before, but damn that girl is hot.

Unfortunately, it'll be another year before the flower beds need to be mulched again.

2005-05-02T20:48:00.000-04:00

This guy has fucked 81 different girls, or so he claims, and has now set out to document each one, one every few days. Christ, I don't even think I've fucked my own wife 81 times, let alone 81 separate girls! Clearly I need to get out more often. Or at least, I should have gotten out more often before giving my life to one woman. What the hell was I thinking by getting married so young?

OK, you're right. I was in love.

Love will do that too you, won't it?

2005-05-01T00:11:00.000-04:00

I hate being lonely on a Saturday night with my wife in the house but she's absorbed in something and isn't interested in being romantic. Three Saturdays in a row now. Next Saturday I should go out.

[Edit: I think SN's comment warrants a general response. Yes, I could suggest another movie night, and she'd probably be OK with it. But why do I always have to suggest everything? If I don't suggest a movie, it won't happen. If I don't suggest dinner, or dancing, or whatever, it just won't happen. After eight years I really feel like she just isn't interested in hanging out with me. And if she does agree to do something with me I feel like she's doing it out of some feeling of marital obligation. Or she's trying to avoid an argument about how we never spend time together. That's why I'd much rather go downtown and possibly end up dancing with some girl and maybe sneaking out of the club and going to a late-night cafe or something. At least I'd know she was interested in me. And that's why I had such a good time on Friday--because I knew that the girl I was with wanted to be with me just as much as I wanted to be with her.]

2005-04-30T16:02:00.001-04:00

Last night was fun. And funny too. We had a few laughs at our own expense.

You may recall that I promised I would buy her a drink if she found my blog. Well, she did, and so the issue of whether I was good for it came up a few times, but until last night I was just too busy to get away for the evening.

But even then we almost didn't get together. Through an incredible sequence of unlucky coincidences, bad cell phone coverage, and general lack of planning we didn't actually manage to meet until 12:30am. And this was after I had left my house around 7:30.

And since we had planned to meet in the suburbs where they roll up the sidewalks at midnight, 12:30 was too late to get anything to eat at the bars (and by this time we were both starving). So in the end we found ourselves eating breakfast and cheese fries at an all-night diner.

So much for buying her that drink.

But we laughed about the mix-up and had a good time talking--our conversation eventually drifting over to the subject of sex. She and I have almost identical issues with our spouses regarding sexual incompatibility (our spouses both seem to be hopelessly and unswervingly conservative when it comes to sex). We've chatted about sex on IM before--sometimes explicitly--so it wasn't exactly uncharted territory for us. But still, two people, a guy and a girl, who have only just met in person moments before, having a conversation about sex, while in a booth at an all-night diner is, well, different, at the very least. We were both a little nervous. But at the same time it felt so good to talk about it and to know that she is going through the exact same thing and feels a lot of the same frustrations that I do.

I don't doubt that we could have talked for hours and hours, especially since her husband is out of town and she didn't have to worry about getting home. But by 2:00 I was worried that my wife would be wondering where I was, so we left the diner and I walked her over to her car. It was raining, and she offered to drive me over to my car which was a few blocks away. When we got there I gave her a hug and we said we'd talk again. I hope we do.

As I was driving home I got a text message from her on my cell, "Bye! It was fun :)"

So all's well that ends well, right?

And I still owe her that drink.